It's so hard to be a teenmutantsuperhero
by UmVe
Summary: Musicals hit X-Men Evo again! It is finished, done, complete! Lancitty, ScottJean and Kodd.
1. Scene 1

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Feh, baka! You actually think that I could own anything as cool as the X-Men? Don't think so.  
  
Author's note: Hurrah for me! The first fanfic that I've managed to "put out". The plot is still a bit open. I'm trying to stick with only musicalsongs just to make it harder. If you have ideas or requests, then do let me know and I'll see what I can do. PS: I know, there are no songs in this chapter, but there will in the next one! I promise!  
  
SCENE 1  
  
Morning at the Institute The kitchen  
  
(JEAN, KITTY and ROGUE are having breakfast)  
  
KITTY Do want like another cherry, Jean?  
  
JEAN Don't force food on me! What are you trying to do, make me fat? I allready had three.  
  
KITTY Eeep!  
  
ROGUE The day hasn't even begun and Jean is allready in the need of some Prozack. God, I hate my life. (looks mournfully at her hands) Aaargh! I'm so angsty! I need to grope someone!  
  
(Suddenly a shout is heard)  
  
SCOTT Come back here!  
  
ROGUE One guess on who he's yelling at.  
  
(KURT runs in, an angry SCOTT in hot pursuit)  
  
KURT You're overreacting Scott!  
  
SCOTT I'll show you overreacting!  
  
(KURT runs into KITTY and they end up on the floor, with KURT'S hands over KITTY'S breasts)  
  
JEAN Kurt! How dare you!  
  
ROGUE You see! Why does everyone else get to grope eachother?  
  
KITTY Eeew! Like, get off me.  
  
KURT (looking a little too pleased) Heh, sorry.  
  
SCOTT Wait untill I tell the Professor Kurt.  
  
ROGUE You know Scott, no on likes a snitch.  
  
SCOTT I have tell Rogue, for it is the heroic thing to do!  
  
JEAN Where is the Professor anyway?  
  
KITTY Yeah. I like haven't seen any of the adults today.  
  
ROGUE Oh yeah. I forgot about the note.  
  
(dramatic music, dun dun duun!)  
  
SCOTT What note?  
  
ROGUE (pulls out a note) This. I found it on the fridge when I came down to sulk.  
  
SCOTT (takes the note and reads it) "Hey Teens! Its the Professor. Me and the others had to go away to Washington to do important things. Don't brake my knick-knacks. Feed the fish. Go to school. No joyriding on the jet. Remember to flush the toilet... Oh! And beware! I have sensed a great danger! Have fun! Love the Professor XXX"  
  
(collective gasp)  
  
JEAN Teens?!  
  
SCOTT Go away?!  
  
ROGUE Knick-knacks?!  
  
KURT School?!  
  
KITTY Toilet?!  
  
(dramatic music, dun dun duun!) 


	2. Scene 2

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Woe is me, for I still do not own anything. Not even the West Side Story or Aida.  
  
SCENE 2  
  
In the hallway of Bayville High  
  
(The walls are decorated with sickeningly colourfull posters of the up and coming Huge Halloween Dance/Costume Party)  
  
(LANCE is skipping down the hall, you heard me folks, skipping)  
  
*COULD BE (West Side Story)*  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Could be!  
  
Who knows?  
  
There's something due any day  
  
I will know, right away  
  
Soon as it shows  
  
It may come connanballing down  
  
Through the sky  
  
Gleam in its eye, bright as rose  
  
Who knows?  
  
It's only just out of reach  
  
Down the block, on a beach  
  
Under a tree  
  
I got a feeling there's a miracle due  
  
Gonna come true, comin' to me...  
  
Could it be, yes, it could  
  
Something's comin', something good  
  
If I can wait!  
  
Something's comin',  
  
I don't know what it is  
  
But it is gonna be great!  
  
With a click, with a shock ,  
  
Phone'll jingle, door will knock,  
  
Open the latch!  
  
Something's comin',  
  
Don't know when  
  
But it's soon  
  
Catch the moon,  
  
One-handed catch!  
  
Around the corner,  
  
Or whistlin' down the river  
  
Come on, deliver to me!  
  
Will it be?  
  
Yes, it will!  
  
Maybe just by holding still,  
  
It'll be there!  
  
Come on, something,  
  
Come on in,  
  
Don't be shy,  
  
Meet a guy,  
  
Pull up a chair!  
  
The air is humming  
  
And something great is coming!  
  
Who knows?  
  
It's only just out of reach,  
  
Down the block, on a beach,  
  
Maybe tonight...  
  
Maybe tonight...  
  
Maybe tonight...!  
  
(LANCE turns around a corner and bumps into KITTY)  
  
LANCE:  
  
Oh! Sorry Kitty-Kat.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Like, what's with the world today? Is it like a "Bump Into Kitty"-day and someone forgot to tell me?  
  
(A big awkward silence ensues)  
  
LANCE:  
  
So...ah...uhm... Are you gonna go to Halloween party tonight?  
  
KITTY:  
  
Like duh, of course! Why?  
  
LANCE:  
  
Cause, I was just thinking... that...that I'd...(determined sigh) Would go to the party with me?  
  
(Cute blushing ensues) (A/N: I just love saying "ensues")  
  
KITTY:  
  
Well... I don't know... I wasn't really going to bother getting a date but... Sure.  
  
LANCE:  
  
So will go with me? Thanks Kitty!  
  
(LANCE skips away happily, and runs into alamppost)  
  
LANCE:  
  
What the hell is a lamppost doing inside a school?!  
  
(LANCE starts to skip again, what is it with this guy and skipping?)  
  
(ROGUE walks to her locker, looking as hostile as ever)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I hate my locker. It get's to have a busier social life than me!  
  
(ROGUE smacks her head repeatedly on her lockerdoor)  
  
(MYSTIQUE morphs from the lamppost to Raven)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
What are you doing here?  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
I want to talk.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Not another one of those "lets work together and take over the world"- speeches?  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
No, this is a "I'm showing some affection by warning you"-speech.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Oh great...  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
I'll be going away for no apparent reason. But before that I have to reveal something shocking.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
How much to you think that my delicate teenage psyche can handle? I hope you're prepared to pay for my therapy.  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
Sounds fair enough. Now for the shocking revelation! (dramatic music) You know how you were sort of adopted by me?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Yeah, how could I forget? (thinking) Maybe if I took some pills.  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
Well the reason why I adopted you was that I knew your parents. (dramatic music)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Figures...  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
Will you at least pretend to be shocked.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Okay. I'm SO shocked!  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
Yes! I knew your biological parents!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
But what happened to them?!  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
They were killed!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
OH NO! Why oh why?  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
An evil mutant named Purgatory killed them. He hates all mutants and is determined to make us all suffer horrendously and die!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
So? That's what all the crazy anti-mutant people try to do.  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
But he is really powerfull and can cause you terrible pains with his impressive mutantpowers! Your mother and father tryed to protect you and Purgatory killed them. You're the only mutant to have survived Purgatory's attack. That how you got your scar. (dramatic music)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
What scar?  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
The p-shaped scar that's on your left heel.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I thought that was just a freaky birth-mark.  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
Alas! It is a scar left behind by Purgatory's vicious powers of painmaking! And I happen to know, that Purgatory has been spotted nearby!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Right, real interesting. I will now end this discussion by saying that I hate you.  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
But I am your mother.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Adoptive mother. And not a very good one at that.  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
But non the less your mother.  
  
*LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON/ LIKE MOTHER, LIKE GIRL (Aida)*  
  
*MYSTIQUE*  
  
Don't come on so cocksure girl, you can't escape your genes  
  
No point in feeling pure girl, your background intervenes  
  
Listen good and listen straight, you're not the master of your fate  
  
To this you must be reconciled, you'll always be your mother's child  
  
At times acclaimed, at times reviled  
  
You'll wind up doing just what I've done  
  
Like mother, like girl  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
Don't assume your vices get handed down the line  
  
That a parent's blood suffices to condemn the child's design  
  
I've done wrong, I can't deny, but at least I know that I  
  
Shouldn't blame that on my stock, this may come as quite a shock  
  
I'm no chip off any block, I wouldn't wish those words on anyone  
  
Like mother, like girl  
  
*MYSTIQUE*  
  
Girl you're nervous, take my hand  
  
All is settled,all is planned  
  
You've got the world at your command  
  
I don't think you understand  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
I appreciate too well  
  
The squalor at which you excel  
  
it isn't very hard to tell  
  
Evil's a distinctive smell  
  
*MYSTIQUE*  
  
She's lost all sense of reason, and why?  
  
Cause of mankind  
  
That is the road called treason,  
  
Some doors are slamming shut  
  
Just like me she's found that flesh can excite but will enmesh  
  
Once I rid her of this blight.  
  
Once this threat's out of sight.  
  
Then I think she'll see the light.  
  
She won't walk back to mommy she will run.  
  
Like mother, like girl...  
  
MYSTIQUE: (hugs ROGUE)  
  
Oh, that's my Rogy-Vogy! Mommy's gonna go now. Bye bye!  
  
(MYSTIQUE mophrs into gigantic, pink wasp and flies away)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Family-counceling, that's what I need, family-counceling.  
  
Authors Note: Ooooh, the suspense, the awesome suspense! What will happen? Only the voices in my head know. Please review! If you don't review, I'll be your best friend and then you'll be sorry. 


	3. Scene 3

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: All I own is an overactive imagination and a sword, but the sword counts for a lot.  
  
SCENE 3  
  
The Institute's Big Room of Odd Costumes  
  
(JEAN, KITTY and ROGUE enter)  
  
KITTY: I did like always wonder, where we got our suits. Okay, enough marveling. Lets get dressed for the party! I'm so excited!  
  
ROGUE: Why? What point is there to anything?  
  
JEAN: Well, someone's not in a Halloween mood.  
  
ROGUE: Then again, when I recall that going to the party with Duncan "The Steroid", it makes kind of happy. I could almost smile, if I could remember how.  
  
JEAN: For your information, I... hmm...well... Shut up.  
  
ROGUE: Right.  
  
(ROGUE sees a vampire-costume near by)  
  
ROGUE: (Looking at the reader) You really think I'm that predictable? (Looks at the costume and grabs it) Okay, maybe I am. But I still have very deep and complex personality!  
  
(ROGUE exits)  
  
*MY STRONGEST SUIT (Aida)*  
  
(KITTY and JEAN try to deside what costume to wear) *JEAN*  
  
In life one has to face a huge assortment  
  
Of nauseating fads and good advice  
  
There's health and fitness  
  
Diet and deportment  
  
And other pointless forms of sacrifice  
  
Conversation? Wit? I am a doubter  
  
Manners? Charm?  
  
They're no way to impress  
  
So forget the inner me , observe the outer  
  
I am what I wear and how I dress  
  
*KITTY*  
  
Oh now I believe in looking  
  
Like my time on earth is cooking  
  
Whether polka dotted  
  
Striped or even checked  
  
With the some glamour guaranteeing  
  
Every fiber on of my being  
  
Is displayed to quite remarkable effect  
  
*BOTH*  
  
From your cradle via trousseau  
  
To your deathbed you're on view, so  
  
Never compromise, accept no substitute  
  
I would rather wear a barrel  
  
Than conservative apparel  
  
For my dress has always been  
  
My strongest suit  
  
Overwear  
  
Underwear  
  
Anytime  
  
Anywhere  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Staying in or hitting town wards  
  
From the top and working downwards  
  
I ensure that every stitch  
  
Is stitched in time  
  
*KITTY*  
  
Whether wig or hat or turban  
  
Whether clad boudoir or urban  
  
Not to strut your stuff  
  
Outrageously's a crime  
  
Such a crime  
  
And the few who are invited  
  
To my wardrobe are delighted  
  
As they wander through my things  
  
To find en route We're wandering through your things  
  
That in negligee or formal Ooh I am anything but normal  
  
*BOTH*  
  
For my dress has always been My strongest suit Overwear, underwear Anytime, anywhere  
  
Overwear, underwear  
  
Anytime, anywhere  
  
I am what I wear Overwear, underwear  
  
Anytime, anywhere  
  
Overwear,underwear  
  
I said anytime Anytime  
  
Anywhere  
  
Finest  
  
Divinest  
  
So bring me all my finest  
  
Most audacious, my divinest Most revealing most  
  
Most revealing expensive  
  
Most expensive and to boot Most arresting  
  
Most heartstopping  
  
Most arresting  
  
Overwear  
  
Most heartstopping Underwear  
  
Most free-flowing Anytime  
  
Most eye-popping  
  
Most arresting Anywhere  
  
Most heart-stopping  
  
Dress has always been  
  
Dress has always been  
  
I am what I wear  
  
My strongest suit  
  
I am what I wear  
  
My strongest suit  
  
I am what I wear  
  
You know that  
  
I am what I wear  
  
Dress has always been  
  
My strongest  
  
Dress has always  
  
My strongest suit  
  
My strongest  
  
My strongest  
  
My stroooooooooongest suit My strongest  
  
My strongest suit  
  
My strongest suit!  
  
(By the time the song ends and the girls have selected their costumes, every bit of clothing is thrown around the room)  
  
JEAN: I'm not going to clean this.  
  
KITTY: We'll just like say the boys did it.  
  
JEAN: Thats a plan.  
  
Authors Note: I know, not much happened, but wait untill the next chappy. The Huge Halloween Party ensues! 


	4. Scene 4

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: My mom never buys me anything.  
  
Authors Note: This is actually a rewrite. I was having problems with qoutation marks. But now the problem has passed and I'm able to write this chapter in more usual form.  
  
SCENE 4 The Huge Halloween Party at the School  
  
(The Hall is full of kids dressed in various costumes, so much colors! My eyes!)  
  
(The X-Men show up. SCOTT is dressed as Batman [Wow, that guy needs an imagination], ROGUE is a vampire [As if you did not allready know], JEAN is a princess [Little miss perfection], KITTY is dressed as Sailor Moon [Wohoo! Skimpy anime-clothing!] and KURT is dressed as his fuzzy blue self with an addision of a szipper on his back)  
  
(The Brotherhood show up. LANCE is the Phantom of the Opera [Sooo handsome], PIETRO is a pirate [Ok, I'm running out of ideas], TODD is a frog [Bet you didn't see that one coming] and FRED is dressed as a hamburger [I will not say anything, no comments, I need to speak with my lawyer first])  
  
*MASQUERADE (Phantom of the Opera)*  
  
*CHORUS*  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Paper faces on parade . . .  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Hide your face,  
  
so the world will  
  
never find you!  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Every face a different shade . . .  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Look around -  
  
there's another  
  
mask behind you!  
  
Flash of mauve . . .  
  
Splash of puce . . .  
  
Fool and king . . .  
  
Ghoul and goose . . .  
  
Green and black . . .  
  
Queen and priest . . .  
  
Trace of rouge . . .  
  
Face of beast . . .  
  
Faces . . .  
  
Take your turn, take a ride  
  
on the merry-go-round . . .  
  
in an inhuman race . . .  
  
Eye of gold . . .  
  
Thigh of blue . . .  
  
True is false . . .  
  
Who is who . . .?  
  
Curl of lip . . .  
  
Swirl of gown . . .  
  
Ace of hearts . . .  
  
Face of clown . . .  
  
Faces . . .  
  
Drink it in, drink it up,  
  
till you've drowned  
  
in the light . . .  
  
in the sound . . .  
  
*LANCE and KITTY* (Looking for eachother)  
  
But who can name the face . . .?  
  
*CHORUS*  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Grinning yellows,  
  
spinning reds . . .  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Take your fill -  
  
let the spectacle  
  
astound you!  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Burning glances,  
  
turning heads . . .  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Stop and stare  
  
at the sea of smiles  
  
around you!  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Seething shadows  
  
breathing lies . . .  
  
Masquerade!  
  
You can fool  
  
any friend who  
  
ever knew you!  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Leering satyrs,  
  
peering eyes . . .  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Run and hide -  
  
but a face will  
  
still pursue you!  
  
*KITTY*  
  
What a night  
  
*KURT*  
  
Vhat a crowd!  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Makes you glad!  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Makes you proud!  
  
All the creme  
  
de la creme!  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Watching us watching them!  
  
*KURT*  
  
And all our fears  
  
are in the past!  
  
*KITTY*  
  
Six days...  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Of relief!  
  
*KURT*  
  
Of delight!  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Of Elysian peace!  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
And we can breathe at last!  
  
*KITTY*  
  
No more looks!  
  
*KURT*  
  
No more screams!  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Here's to health!  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Here's a toast:  
  
to our prosperous team!  
  
*KITTY*  
  
To a future prom queen!  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
And may our  
  
splendour never fade!  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Six days!  
  
*KITTY*  
  
What a joy!  
  
*KURT*  
  
Vhat a change!  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
What a blessed release!  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
And what a masquerade!  
  
*CHORUS*  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Paper faces on parade!  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Hide your face,  
  
so the world will  
  
never find you!  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Every face a different shade!  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Look around -  
  
There's another  
  
mask behind you!  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Burning glances,  
  
turning heads . . .  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Stop and stare  
  
at the sea of smiles  
  
around you!  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Grinning yellows,  
  
spinning reds . . .  
  
Masquerade!  
  
Take your fill -  
  
let the spectacle  
  
astound you!  
  
(KITTY finds LANCE)  
  
KITTY:  
  
Like, there you are.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Hi Kit- (starts staring at KITTYS skimpy costume) I... I... I... I really like your costume.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Thanks. I wasn't like sure if I should have taken this one or not.  
  
LANCE:  
  
It's great!  
  
KITTY:  
  
Wanna like dance?  
  
LANCE:  
  
Sure! I... I mean, okay, whatever.  
  
(KITTY and LANCE head to the dance floor)  
  
TODD:  
  
Hey Pietro, I thought you were going to this thing with your four girlfriends.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Nah. The relationship just wasn't working out. All they ever wanted to do was make out with me. I could never get in to an intellectual conversation with them.  
  
TODD:  
  
Too bad for you.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
No worries. I can get a new girlfriends whenever I want. There is an abundance of intelligent young women out there just waiting for me.  
  
TODD:  
  
Jep. Loads of Mary Sues.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Do not remind of them. Anyway, I am able to make any girl here melt. Just watch.  
  
*CRAZY (Starlight Express)*  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Where I go the rest better follow,  
  
Look out everybody, move aside.  
  
May go now, or may go tomorrow.  
  
Hold on, I'll take you for a ride!  
  
*GIRLS*  
  
Crazy, can you believe it,  
  
He's crazy, love him or leave him,  
  
He's crazy, going crazy, going crazy!  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Watch me, see me hit the horizon.  
  
*TARYN*  
  
Take it slowly. What you got to prove?  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Ride with me you know you've been riding.  
  
No one can move the way I move.  
  
*GIRLS*  
  
Crazy, can you believe it,  
  
He's crazy, love him or leave him,  
  
He's crazy, going crazy, going crazy!  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
You know I'm crazy, yeah!  
  
*GIRLS*  
  
Crazy, can you believe it,  
  
He's crazy, love him or leave him,  
  
He's crazy, going crazy, going crazy!  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Hold on tight, I'll turn up the pressure,  
  
Must be right, no way it can be wrong.  
  
You and me go steamin' together  
  
*TARYN*  
  
Till someone better comes along.  
  
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!  
  
*PIETRO and GIRLS*  
  
Crazy, can you believe it,  
  
He's crazy, love him or leave him,  
  
He's crazy, going crazy, going crazy!  
  
Oooh!  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
You know I'm crazy, yeah!  
  
*GIRLS/ PIETRO*  
  
Crazy, can you believe it  
  
He's crazy, love him or leave him, /You know, you know,  
  
He's crazy,/ You know I'm crazy!  
  
Going crazy, going crazy!/ I'm just so crazy!  
  
Going crazy, going crazy,/ Yeah, yeah,  
  
Going crazy,/ Yeah!  
  
Going crazy!/ I'm crazy!  
  
(A bunch of insanely giggling girls gather around PIETRO)  
  
PIETRO:  
  
There you have it folks.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
So Jean. Where's that dream man of yours?  
  
JEAN:  
  
So Duncan is running a little late, big deal.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Why not admit it, you hate the guy.  
  
JEAN:  
  
No I don't.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Yeah. But you dislike him. I mean, you're somewhat smart. You should know that there's more than beeing popular.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Right. This coming from someone who sleeps with blowup-doll.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Don't make fun of Gabriel! Me and him have good relationship going on! Unlike you and that piece of beef.  
  
*HIGH FLYING, ADORED (Evita)*  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
High flying, adored, so young, the instant queen, a  
  
Rich beautiful thing of all the talents, a cross between a  
  
Fantasy of the bedroom and a saint  
  
And you were just a backstreet girl  
  
Hustling and fighting  
  
Scratching and biting  
  
JEAN Where did you hear that from?!  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
High flying, adored, did you believe in your wildest  
  
moments  
  
All this would be yours, that you'd become the lady  
  
of them all?  
  
Were there stars in your eyes when you crawled in  
  
at night  
  
From the bars, from the sidewalks  
  
From the gutter theatrical?  
  
Don't look down, it's a long long way to fall  
  
JEAN You can't prove anything!  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
High flying, adored, what happens now, where do you  
  
go from here?  
  
For someone on top of the world, the view's not exactly  
  
clear  
  
A shame you did it all at seventeen  
  
There are no mysteries now  
  
Nothing can thrill you  
  
No-one fulfill you  
  
High flying, adored, I hope you come to terms with  
  
boredom  
  
So famous, so easily, so soon, is not the wisest thing  
  
to be  
  
You won't care if they love you, it's been done before  
  
You'll despair if they hate you  
  
You'll be drained of all energy  
  
All the young who've made it would agree  
  
*JEAN*  
  
High flying, adored, I've been called names but they're  
  
the strangest  
  
My story's quite usual, local girl makes good,  
  
Dates popular guy  
  
I was slap in the right place at the perfect time  
  
Filled a gap--I was lucky  
  
But one thing I'll say for me  
  
No-one else can fill it like I can  
  
(DUNCAN comes, I am not going even bother with his suit, just imagine something stupid)  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
Hi, babe.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Aaargh! I need a drink!  
  
(ROGUE heads for the drink table)  
  
Authors Note: This was the first part of the party scene. Next up is... uh, something... Oh well, more partying and a duet with Kitty and Lance. Remember to add your donation to the reviews, or you are going to become good friends with my sword. 


	5. Scene 4 continued

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Why do I do this? (Heh. Do do do do...)  
  
Authors Note: Right... Had to cut the last scene short cause of writer's block. Honestly, someone make a pill for it. The plot (or the moose that is disguised as one) is getting harder for me to plan. But I think I'll speed a few things up just for the heck of it.  
  
SCENE 5 (party continuum, that's a cool word)  
  
KURT:  
  
Hey Scott have you seen Rogue anywhere?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I think I saw her by the punch.  
  
(We see ROGUE drowning her sorrows)  
  
KURT:  
  
Oh nein. I hope zat no one has put any roofies in it zis time.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
If I ever find that fiend who soiled the punch...  
  
KURT:  
  
That... sounded kind of vrong...  
  
SCOTT:  
  
The precious punch must protected! I shall stand guard, in a heroic fashion.  
  
(SCOTT goes to stand guard at the punchbowl)  
  
KURT:  
  
Vhy me? I'm too cute to have to take zis crap.  
  
(A big lump of slime hits KURT in the head)  
  
KURT:  
  
Todd! Vill you stop spitting on me?!  
  
TODD:  
  
What? A toad's gotta have a hobby, yo.  
  
KURT:  
  
Aww dammit! It'll take so long to vash zis off! Do you have any idea how much shampoo I allready use?  
  
TODD:  
  
Oh lah-di-dah! Someone has shampoo! What is shampoo?  
  
(Meanwhile, DUNCAN is dancing like an idiot, while JEAN just stands there looking humiliated)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Maybe. Just maybe, in some twisted way Rogue was right... I need someone else. Someone with brains and good looks. Someone who is manly and determined, yet sensitive and caring. Someone-  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
Come on babe, dance with me!  
  
JEAN:  
  
No thanks. I think I hurt my spleen this afternoon.  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
But babe...  
  
JEAN:  
  
Duncan.  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
Yeah babe?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Quit calling me babe.  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
But why babe?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Duncan, be honest, do you remember my name?  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
Uuh... Redhead?  
  
JEAN:  
  
That's it!  
  
*WITHOUT YOU (My Fair Lady)*  
  
*JEAN*  
  
What a fool I was!  
  
What a dominated fool!  
  
To think you were the earth and sky.  
  
What a fool I was!  
  
What an addlepated fool!  
  
What a mutton headed dolt was I!  
  
No, my reverberating friend,  
  
You are not the beginning and the end!  
  
There'll be spring ev'ry year without you.  
  
Bayville still will be here without you.  
  
There'll be fruit on the tree;  
  
And a shore by the sea;  
  
There'll be Starbucks coffee without you.  
  
Art and music will thrive without you.  
  
Somehow kids will survive without you.  
  
And there still will be rain on some plain down in Spain,  
  
Even that will remain without you.  
  
I can do without you.  
  
You, dear friend, who plays so well,  
  
You can go to Hartford, Heresford and Hampshire.  
  
They can still rule the land without you.  
  
Capitol Hill will stand without you.  
  
And without much ado  
  
We can all muddle through without you.  
  
Without your pulling it, the tide comes in;  
  
Without your twirling it, the earth can spin.  
  
Without your pushing them, the clouds roll by.  
  
If they can do without you, ducky, so can I!  
  
I shall not feel alone without you.  
  
I can stand on my own without you.  
  
So go back in your shell,  
  
I can do bloody well without you!  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
Duh... What?  
  
JEAN:  
  
I'm breaking up with you!  
  
DUNCAN:  
  
Duh... (Yep, the guy's Ivy League material)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Wow. I'm single. NO! I can't be single! Oh where will I find the perfect man?  
  
(JEAN sees SCOTT standing valiantly by the punchbolw, singing)  
  
*THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM (Man of LaMancha)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
To dream ... the impossible dream ...  
  
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...  
  
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...  
  
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...  
  
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...  
  
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...  
  
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...  
  
To reach ... the unreachable star ...  
  
This is my quest, to follow that star ...  
  
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...  
  
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...  
  
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...  
  
And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,  
  
That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm,  
  
when I'm laid to my rest ...  
  
And the world will be better for this:  
  
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,  
  
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,  
  
To reach ... the unreachable star ...  
  
(SCOTT takes a heroic pose)  
  
(At the dance floor)  
  
KITTY:  
  
(blisfull sigh) This is like so totally perfect.  
  
(LANCE is still staring at KITTYS costume)  
  
KITTY:  
  
I wish we could like do this more often.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Yeah, really often...  
  
KITTY:  
  
Do you think we could make it work? I mean like...  
  
*SUN AND MOON (Miss Saigon)*  
  
*KITTY*  
  
you are sunlight and I moon  
  
joined by the gods of fortune  
  
midnight and high noon  
  
sharing the sky  
  
we have been blessed, you and I  
  
*LANCE*  
  
you are here like a mystery  
  
I'm from a world that's so different  
  
from all that you are  
  
how in the light of one night  
  
did we come so far?  
  
*KITTY*  
  
outside day starts to dawn  
  
*LANCE*  
  
your moon still floats on high  
  
*KITTY*  
  
the birds awake  
  
*LANCE*  
  
the stars shine too  
  
*KITTY*  
  
my hands still shake  
  
*LANCE*  
  
I reach for you  
  
*BOTH*  
  
and we meet in the sky!  
  
*KITTY*  
  
you are sunlight and I moon  
  
joined here  
  
bright'ning the sky  
  
with the flame  
  
of love  
  
*BOTH*  
  
made of  
  
sunlight  
  
moonlight  
  
(KITTY and LANCE kiss. Doves fly. Fireworks go off. Crowds cheer. Angels sing. Flowers bloom... the usual)  
  
(By the punchbolw)  
  
KURT:  
  
Scott! Todd spit in my hair and I need sugar!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Kurt, don't be so selfish. There are more important things at hand. We must provide protection for the crucial punch.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Oh Scott, look! Kitty and Lance are making out, isn't that romantic?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
If I wasn't such a unique rebel, I would be making out.  
  
KURT:  
  
Since vhen have you been a unique rebel?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Since Gabriel got a hole and deflated.  
  
KURT:  
  
Oh.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Scott, you can stop guarding the punch, the bowl's been empty for fifteen minutes.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
What!? Some terrible villian must have stolen all the punch!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
No. Actually I drank it all. I feel strange.  
  
JEAN:  
  
I think we should leave. Before Rogue pukes, Kurt starts crying for sugar and Kitty and Lance suck eachothers faces off.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Onward fellows! Let us journey in my red car to the Mansion!  
  
KURT:  
  
Kitty! Get your tongue out of zat guys stomach! Ve're going home!  
  
(And so our heroic guintet leaves the party)  
  
Authors Note: Now, wasn't that... I can't even find the right words for what that was. Next up, is the aftermath of the party. 


	6. Scene 5 or 6

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Well, if mom won't buy me anything then dad will. Daddy!  
  
Authors Note: (blink) Okay... I haven't been able to update lately, since I have to be going to this language course thing. Sick twisted bastards making me do homework during summer! As if the current heat wave isn't a bad enough thing.  
  
This chapter will be changing scenery a few times. I just didn't see the point in putting out many short chapters.  
  
SCENE 6 (or 5, who knows?)  
  
The Institute's kitchen  
  
(KITTY and JEAN are having a conversation, as you can see)  
  
KITTY:  
  
You like did what?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Dumped Duncan. Aren't you surprised?  
  
KITTY:  
  
No. Even I'm not moronic enough not to able to have forseen the unavertable doom of your less then functional relationship. Lets face it, you two obviously weren't complementing eachothers intellectual needs, or any other need for that matter.  
  
(JEAN stares at KITTY in surprise)  
  
KITTY:  
  
Wow! I like have to stop drinking Earl Grey. It's so totally messing me up. So like are you going to ask Scott out?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Scott? What gives you the idea that I'm interested in Scott?  
  
KITTY:  
  
Like I said, I'm not stupid.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Could've fooled me.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Like, whatever. So, you gonna ask him out or not?  
  
(KURT bamfs on the table)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Kurt, go away. We're having a girly conversation.  
  
KURT:  
  
So? Just because I'm not a girl doesn't mean you can exclute me from it. Has it ever occured to anyone, other zan Rogue, that I vant to have heart- to-heart discussions too?  
  
(confused silence)  
  
KURT:  
  
Nobody likes me!  
  
(KURT runs off, crying)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Is it just me, or has Kurt been having a lot of hissyfits lately?  
  
KITTY:  
  
We're not talking about that now.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Look. I'm not denying than I have certain cuddly feelings towards Scott. But it's not that simple.  
  
*I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE HIM (Jesus Christ Superstar)*  
  
*JEAN*  
  
I don't know how to love him.  
  
What to do, how to move him.  
  
I've been changed, yes really changed.  
  
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,  
  
I seem like someone else.  
  
I don't know how to take this.  
  
I don't see why he moves me.  
  
He's a man. He's just a man.  
  
And I've had so many men before,  
  
In very many ways,  
  
He's just one more.  
  
Should I bring him down?  
  
Should I scream and shout?  
  
Should I speak of love,  
  
Let my feelings out?  
  
I never thought I'd come to this.  
  
What's it all about?  
  
Don't you think it's rather funny,  
  
I should be in this position.  
  
I'm the one who's always been  
  
So calm, so cool, no lover's fool,  
  
Running every show.  
  
He scares me so.  
  
I never thought I'd come to this.  
  
What's it all about?  
  
Yet, if he said he loved me,  
  
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.  
  
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.  
  
I'd turn my head. I'd back away.  
  
I wouldn't want to know.  
  
He scares me so.  
  
I want him so.  
  
I love him so.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Just go and tell him that.  
  
JEAN:  
  
I can't!  
  
KITTY:  
  
Why not?!  
  
JEAN:  
  
There's really no reason! But otherwise the plot of the fic will be too simple!  
  
KITTY:  
  
Why are we still shouting?!  
  
JEAN:  
  
I don't know!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Somewhere else in the Institute  
  
(ROGUE is drinking way too much coke and is weeping, laying next to her is GABRIEL the blowup-doll)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Oh, Gabriel, you're the only one who understands me! I need you!  
  
*TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME (Rocky Horror Show)*  
  
*ROGUE* I was feeling done in  
  
Coudn't win  
  
I'd only ever kissed before  
  
I thought there's no use getting  
  
into heavy petting  
  
It only leads to trouble  
  
And seat wetting.  
  
Now all I want to know  
  
Is how to go  
  
I've tasted blood and I want more  
  
I'll put up no resistance  
  
I want to stay the distance  
  
I've got an itch to scratch  
  
And I need assistance  
  
Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a - Touch me.  
  
I want to be dirty  
  
Thrill me chill me fulfil me  
  
Creature of the night.  
  
Then if anything grows  
  
When you pose  
  
I'll oil you up and rub you down  
  
And that's just one small fraction  
  
Of the main attraction  
  
You need a friendly hand  
  
And I need action.  
  
Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a - Touch me.  
  
I want to be dirty  
  
Thrill me chill me fulfil me  
  
Creature of the night.  
  
Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a - Touch me.  
  
I want to be dirty  
  
Thrill me chill me fulfil me  
  
Creature of the night.  
  
(ROGUE starts to make out with GABRIEL)  
  
(GABRIEL holds up a sign that reads "Call the police!")  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
In Da Hood  
  
(PIETRO is making a fiery speech)  
  
*RED AND BLACK (Les Miserables)*  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
It is time for us all  
  
To decide who we are...  
  
Do we fight for the right  
  
To a night at the opera now?  
  
Have you asked of yourselves  
  
What's the price you might pay?  
  
Is it simply a game  
  
For the X-Geegs to play?  
  
The color of the world  
  
Is changing  
  
Day by day...  
  
Red - the blood of angry men!  
  
Black - the dark of ages past!  
  
Red - a world about to dawn!  
  
Black - the night that ends at last!  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Had you been there tonight  
  
You might know how it feels  
  
To be struck to the bone  
  
In a moment of breathless delight!  
  
Had you been there tonight  
  
You might also have known  
  
How the world may be changed  
  
In just one burst of light!  
  
And what was right  
  
Seems wrong  
  
And what was wrong  
  
Seems right...  
  
*TODD*  
  
Red...  
  
*LANCE*  
  
I feel my soul on fire!  
  
*TODD*  
  
Black...  
  
*LANCE*  
  
My world if she's not there...  
  
*ALL*  
  
Red...  
  
*LANCE*  
  
The color of desire!  
  
*ALL*  
  
Black...  
  
*LANCE*  
  
The color of despair!  
  
PIETRO  
  
Lance, you're no- I'm no singing this! This is stupid! AUTHOR Allright! Skip it then! See if I care!  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Who cares about your lonely soul  
  
We strive toward a larger goal  
  
Our little lives don't count at all!  
  
*ALL*  
  
Red - the blood of angry men! Black - the dark of ages past!  
  
Red - a world about to dawn!  
  
Black - the night that ends at last!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Lance, honestly, you've fallen in too deep for Kitty.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Got a problem with it?  
  
*STRANGE THING MYSTIFYING (Jesus Christ Superstar)*  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying  
  
That a man like you can waste his time on women of her kind.  
  
*FRED*  
  
Hey, cool it man.  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Yes, I can understand that she amuses,  
  
But to let her kiss you, stroke your hair, that's hardly in your line.  
  
It's not that I object to her profession,  
  
But she doesn't fit in well with what you teach and say.  
  
It doesn't help us if you're inconsistent.  
  
They only need a small excuse to put us all away.  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Who are you to criticise her?  
  
Who are you to despise her?  
  
Leave her, leave her, let her be now.  
  
Leave her, leave her, she's with me now.  
  
If your slate is clean, then you can throw stones.  
  
If your slate is not, then leave her alone.  
  
I'm amazed that men like you can be so shallow, thick and slow  
  
There is not a man among you who know or cares if I come or go.  
  
*ALL BUT LANCE*  
  
No, you're wrong!  
  
You're very wrong!  
  
No, you're wrong!  
  
You're very wrong!  
  
No, you're wrong!  
  
You're very wrong!  
  
No, you're wrong!  
  
You're very wrong!  
  
How can you say that?  
  
How can you say that?  
  
How can you say that?  
  
How can you say that?  
  
*LANCE* Not one, not one of you!  
  
(LANCE walks away in a huff)  
  
(The rest of the Brotherhood stare at eachother for a while and then start brawling)  
  
*~*~* ~*~*  
  
Later at The Institute  
  
(SCOTT is standing in the hall heroicly)  
  
(JEAN walks in)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Hi Scott. What are you doing?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Keeping watch.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Uh, why?  
  
*STARS (Les Miserables)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
There, out in the darkness  
  
A fugitive running  
  
Fallen from God  
  
Fallen from grace  
  
God be my witness  
  
I never shall yield  
  
Till we come face to face  
  
Till we come face to face  
  
He knows his way in the dark  
  
But mine is the way of the law  
  
And those who follow the path of the righteous  
  
Shall have their reward  
  
And if they fall  
  
As Magneto fell  
  
The flame  
  
The sword!  
  
Stars  
  
In your multitudes  
  
Scarce to be counted  
  
Filling the darkness  
  
With order and light  
  
You are the sentinels  
  
Silent and sure  
  
Keeping watch in the night  
  
Keeping watch in the night  
  
You know your place in the sky  
  
You hold your course and your aim  
  
And each in your season  
  
Returns and returns  
  
And is always the same  
  
And if you fall as Magneto fell  
  
You fall in flame!  
  
And so it has been  
  
And so it is written  
  
On the doorway to paradise  
  
That those who falter and those who fall  
  
Must pay the price!  
  
Lord let me find him  
  
That I may see him  
  
Safe behind bars  
  
I will never rest  
  
Till then, this I swear  
  
This I swear by the stars!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Who are you talking about?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Don't know. I just thought it sounded heroic.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Oh, it did. You make a great superhero.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Really?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Uh... Sure! I mean, that at least you can do the whole heroic pose thing.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
That I can. Now all I have to do is to save the world a couple of times and I'm all set.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Okay. You know, I've been thinking about things lately.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
That's good to hear. I was becoming afraid that you were braindead.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Huh? Anyway... I've been thinking about the two of us.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
What about us?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Well, you remember that one we both got drunk?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Not too well.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Yeah, I forgot about that concussion... But anyway, for a few hazy hours we had a relationship. And was thinking that we could get together again.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
What about Duncan?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Haven't you heard, I dumped his ass. I don't know what was wrong me, when I started that excuse of a relationship.  
  
*NEXT TIME YOU FALL IN LOVE (Starlight Express)*  
  
*JEAN*  
  
I guess I'm not too good at keeping love alive for long.  
  
I think I've found the answers but the answer's always wrong.  
  
My first love was my true love and it should have been my last.  
  
The only time I'm happy when I'm dreaming in the past.  
  
Next time you fall in love  
  
It better be with me,  
  
The way it used to be.  
  
Back then was when  
  
We touched the starlight.  
  
Sometimes you turn away from  
  
What your heart tells you is right  
  
And so you settle for  
  
Whatever gets you through the night.  
  
The flame you thought was dead  
  
May suddenly begin to burn  
  
And broken hearts can be repaired,  
  
That's something that you learn.  
  
Next time you fall in love  
  
It better be with me,  
  
The way it used to be.  
  
Back then was when  
  
We touched the starlight.  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
I've re-lived every moment  
  
That I ever shared with you.  
  
What fools we were to end a dream  
  
That looked like coming true.  
  
Next time you fall in love  
  
It better be with me,  
  
The way it used to be.  
  
*BOTH*  
  
Back then was when  
  
We touched the starlight.  
  
Next time you fall in love  
  
It better be with me,  
  
The way it used to be.  
  
Back then was when  
  
We touched the starlight.  
  
I guess I'm not too good  
  
At keeping love alive for long.  
  
I think I've found the answers  
  
But the answer's always wrong.  
  
My first love was my true love  
  
And it should have been my last.  
  
The only time I'm happy's  
  
When I'm dreaming in the past.  
  
Next time you fall in love  
  
It better be with me,  
  
Back then was when  
  
We touched the starlight.  
  
Next time you fall in love  
  
It better be with me,  
  
The way it used to be.  
  
Back then was when  
  
We touched the starlight.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Back in Da Hood  
  
(After the great brawl has ended. TODD sits on his bed reading a sappy lovestory)  
  
*WHERE IS LOVE? (Oliver!)*  
  
*TODD* Where is love?  
  
Does it fall from skies above?  
  
Is it underneath the willow tree  
  
That I've been dreaming of?  
  
Where is he?  
  
Who I close my eyes to see  
  
And will I ever know  
  
That sweet hello  
  
That's meant for only me?  
  
Who can say where he may hide?  
  
Must I travel far and wide?  
  
Till I am beside  
  
That someone who  
  
I can mean something to  
  
Where, where is love?  
  
(FRED smacks his head through the door)  
  
(TODD quickly hides the book and turns on the Bad-Ass-Angry-Rap-radio- station)  
  
TODD:  
  
What're ya bothering me fo' yo?!  
  
FRED:  
  
I thought I heard something sappy.  
  
Authors Note: Oooh. The BoM singing Les Miz! What a vision! In the next chapter, things are not going well at school... Can you stand the suspense? 


	7. Scene 7

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Don't you people get it?! I don't own anything! I'm just swiping stuff cause I'm a little greedy bastard.  
  
Authors Note: It's gonna get even harder to update when school starts, and that's happening all too soon... The horror!  
  
SCENE 7  
  
Morning at The Institute The big entryhall-place-thing-whatever  
  
(JEAN, KITTY and KURT are waiting) (ROGUE comes down, looking like hell)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Busy night?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
You know Gabriel, he's a real beast.  
  
KITTY:  
  
I like kinda feel sorry for that piece of plastic.  
  
KURT:  
  
Ja, ze zings you do vith him are unhealthy.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Oh. And what about that magazine I saw in your room when I was sneeking around and going through your private things?  
  
KURT:  
  
Vat magazine? Zere's no such zing in my room?! Stop looking at me like zat!  
  
(SCOTT runs in)  
  
JEAN:  
  
What's the matter?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Bad thing are happening. I conveniently heard that anti-mutant-anarchy has erupted after some mutants ruined the presidents picnic!  
  
(dramatic music)  
  
JEAN, ROGUE, KURT and KITTY:  
  
NO!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
YES!  
  
*TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE (Blood Brothers)*  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Tell me it's not true  
  
Say it's just a story  
  
Something on the news  
  
Tell me it's not true  
  
Though it's here before me  
  
Say it's just a dream  
  
Say it's just a scene  
  
From an old movie of years ago From an old movie of Marilyn Monroe  
  
Say it's just some clowns  
  
Two players in the limelight  
  
And bring the curtain down  
  
Say it's just two clowns  
  
Who couldn't get their line right  
  
Say it's just a show  
  
Oon the radio  
  
That we can turn over and start again  
  
That we can turn over; it's only a game  
  
*ALL*  
  
Tell me it's not true  
  
Say I only dreamed it  
  
And morning will come true  
  
Tell me it's not true  
  
Say you didn't mean it  
  
Say it's just pretend  
  
Say it's just the end From an old movie of years ago From an old movie of Marilyn Monroe  
  
Tell me it's not true  
  
Say you didn't mean it  
  
Say it's just pretend  
  
Say it's just the end From an old movie of years ago From an old movie of Marilyn Monroe  
  
(suddenly MARY-SUE bursts through the door)  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Oh you must help me! I'm beeing hunted down by an evil person, who has been doing terrible things to me all my life!  
  
KURT:  
  
Aaah! It's one of zose zings again! Get it away from me!  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
But I cannot defend myself, though I'm scilled in ninjutsu and the greatest mutant ever! Oh woe is me. I'm so pretty and perfect and yet so inhibited.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Oh great! If I wasn't afraid of getting some sort of horrid Mary-Sue infection from her, I'd touch her to death.  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
But you mustn't kill me. I have so many fantastic talents and fabulous looks!  
  
(SCOTT blasts MARY-SUE, who diappears in an unholy ball of flames)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Well, nobody likes competition.  
  
(The X-Men have a merry laugh)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
At the school The principals office  
  
(KELLY is talking to a scary shadowy FIGURE)  
  
KELLY:  
  
So you can take care of my problem for me?  
  
FIGURE:  
  
Well, I can't help you with that rash, but I can take care of the mutants for you.  
  
KELLY:  
  
Excellent! Soon, all the mutants of Bayville High shall tremble at the feet of Kelly! Um... what's my first name again? I seem to have forgot it... Never mind! AH HAH HAA!  
  
FIGURE:  
  
If you don't stop laughing right now, I'll kill you.  
  
KELLY:  
  
Yes sir.  
  
FIGURE:  
  
Good. And now I shall have my ultimate revenge! AH HAH HAH HAA!  
  
KELLY:  
  
Whoa. It's so great to able to work with a maniac genious evil-doer like you.  
  
FIGURE:  
  
I know. Sometimes I even humble myself. Now, make sure that all the students are in one place. Then I'll do what I do best.  
  
KELLY:  
  
Bake cookies?  
  
FIGURE:  
  
(sigh) I have to start working with bananaflies, they have more brains than you.  
  
* ~*~*~*~*  
  
Lunch at the School (All the walls are now covered in posters announcing the Nasty-Anti-Mutant- Meeting, attendance mandatory)  
  
(The X-Men are sitting at their table)  
  
(The Brotherhood enters)  
  
LANCE:  
  
(looking at his food) What is this?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
I don't know, but it's not food.  
  
TODD:  
  
Don't you want yours then?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
I didn't say that. I merely said that this was more likely meant to be a substitute for vaseline than to be eaten.  
  
FRED:  
  
How depressing...  
  
*FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD (Oliver!)*  
  
*FRED*  
  
Is it worth the waiting for?  
  
If we live 'til eighty four  
  
All we ever get is school food!  
  
Ev'ry day we say our prayer --  
  
Will they change the bill of fare?  
  
Still we get the same old school food!  
  
There is not a cust, not a crumb can we find,  
  
Can we beg, can we borrow, or cadge,  
  
But there's nothing to stop me from getting a thrill  
  
When I just close our eyes and imag...ine  
  
Food, glorious food!  
  
Hot sausage and mustard!  
  
While I'm in the mood --  
  
Cold jelly and custard!  
  
Pease pudding and saveloys!  
  
"What's next?" is the question.  
  
Rich gentlemen have it, boys --  
  
In-di-gestion!  
  
Food, glorious food!  
  
I'm anxious to try it.  
  
Three banquets a day --  
  
My favourite diet!  
  
Just picture a great big steak --  
  
Fried, roasted or stewed.  
  
Oh, food,  
  
Wonderful food,  
  
Marvellous food,  
  
Glorious food.  
  
Food, glorious food!  
  
What is there more handsome?  
  
Gulped, swallowed or chewed --  
  
Still worth a kin's ransom.  
  
What is it we dream about?  
  
What brings on a sigh?  
  
Piled peaches and cream , about  
  
Six feet high!  
  
Food, glorious food!  
  
Eat right through the menu.  
  
Just loosen your belt  
  
Two inches and then you  
  
Work up a new appetite.  
  
In this interlude --  
  
Then food,  
  
Once again, food  
  
Fabulous food,  
  
Glorious food.  
  
Food, glorious food!  
  
Don't care what it looks like --  
  
Burned!  
  
Underdone!  
  
Crude!  
  
Don't care what the cook's like.  
  
Just thinking of growing fat --  
  
My senses go reeling  
  
One moment of knowing that  
  
Full-up feeling!  
  
Food, glorious food!  
  
What wouldn't I give for  
  
That extra bit more --  
  
That's all that I live for  
  
Why should we be fated to  
  
Do nothing but brood  
  
On food,  
  
Magical food,  
  
Wonderful food,  
  
Marvellous food,  
  
Fabulous food,  
  
*TODD*  
  
Beautiful food,  
  
*ALL*  
  
Glorious food.  
  
(The Brother hood sit in the same table as the X-Men)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
What's wrong in this picture?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
That milk of yours has gone bad six months ago?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
No. What in the holy name of Batman are you doing?  
  
LANCE:  
  
You guys know about that meeting.  
  
(Everyones glance around them at the multitute of posters)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Yeah.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Well, we thought that if things get ugly, and I'm sure they will, that we should put aside our deep hatred for eachother in the hopes of our collective survival.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Huh?  
  
LANCE:  
  
He means we should work together.  
  
(dramatic music)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
But we're enemies!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
We might have a small philosophical disagreement. But we still have more similarities.  
  
*THE COURT OF THE MIRACLES (Notre Dame de Paris)*  
  
*PIETRO* We are brothers forever, pain and joy we share together.  
  
For the outcasts of the earth, there's no heaven there's no hell.  
  
There's no heaven or hell.  
  
We are the ones no one sees; we are the ones who can eat, through the world as we please.  
  
*PIETRO* *(CHORUS)*  
  
The blood and the wine are always running red.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
By thieves and by whores you know the dance is led.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
The blind man will see and all the cripples dance.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
We're born to be killed and so we take a chance.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
(Court of the miracles, court of the miracles).  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
We are all of the same race here, the same invisible face here.  
  
For the outcasts of the world, there's no country there's no god.  
  
There's no country or god.  
  
These rags we wear are our flags, It is the shade of my skin, and it's that of your skin.  
  
*PIETRO* *(CHORUS)*  
  
The gypsies and tramps they sing the same old song.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
You know none of us, will be alive too long.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
The killers and thieves all share a loving curse.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles)  
  
We make one mistake and then the game is up.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
(Court of the miracles, court of the miracles).  
  
The blood and the wine are always running red.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
By thieves and by whores you know the dance is led.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles)  
  
The blind man will see and all the cripples dance.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles)  
  
We're born to be hung and so we take our chance.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, court of the miracles).  
  
(Court of the miracles, court of the miracles).  
  
The killers and thieves they sing the same old song.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
You know none of us will be alive too long.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
The killers and thieves will share a loving cup.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles)  
  
We make one mistake and then the game is up.  
  
(At the court of the miracles, the court of the miracles).  
  
(Court of the miracles, court of the miracles).  
  
At the court of the miracles.  
  
At the court of the miracles.  
  
At the court of the miracles.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Well I'm convinced.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Yes! Let us work together!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Meanwhile, att The Institute  
  
(MARY-SUE appears)  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
I have fough the very fires of hell to returne to my love, whoever that is.  
  
AUTHOR:  
  
Oh crap! There's only one thing left to be done. Alter-ego with whom I have a pact, show your true form and insert thyself in the fic! AUTHOR INSERTATION!  
  
(The AUTHORS anime-ovedosed alter-ego appears)  
  
ALTER-EGO:  
  
Hello. You won't mind if kill you just a bit?  
  
MARY-SUE:  
  
Yes I will.  
  
ALTER-EGO:  
  
Too bad... CHARACTER DELETION!  
  
(MARY-SUE is deleted)  
  
ALTER-EGO:  
  
Another job welldone. Now, sushi!  
  
Authors Note: Sorry about that. I just had do some Mary-Sue bashing. Remember to use the review button. It want's you to use it. And remember to come back for the next chapter, where our heros go to a meeting. 


	8. Scene 8

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: I still own nothing, but as soon as dad turns his back... It's open season on your parents wallets. (mad gigle)  
  
Authors Note: Hey look at me! I'm uptading, that's the most amazing thing ever! And behold, I have a few reviews (proud smile)!  
  
SCENE 8  
  
Still at the School (All the kids in the school are craming themselves in to the gym for the Nasty-Anti-Mutant-Meeting, great chaos ensues due to the fact that people can't form a decent line)  
  
(After lots of craming and some stampeded casualties, everyone is seated)  
  
(The X-Men and the Brotherhood are sitting together, looking suspicious)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Guys, we're looking too suspicious. Try to act casual.  
  
(They start to whistle, badly)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Magnificent. OUCH!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
What's wrong Rogue?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
I swear, I never touched her!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
My left heel hurts.  
  
(Harry Potter theme-music plays)  
  
(KELLY and the FIGURE come on-stage)  
  
(Our heroic mutant friend gasp in horror)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Gaps of horror! That man looks just like the professor!  
  
KITTY:  
  
Yeah! Except thst this guy has hair and can like, walk.  
  
(Yes dear readers, the FIGURE does bear a striking resemblance to the professor, except the whole hair and legs that work part)  
  
KELLY:  
  
Okay kids! It's time to play Bash The Mutants!  
  
(Most of the kids cheer)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
My heel is really beging to hurt.  
  
(ROGUE falls on the floor, holding her left foot)  
  
KELLY:  
  
Here with us we have mister Epstein, who has promised to help us find some mutants to bash!  
  
KIDS:  
  
Bash! Bash! Bash! Bash them in the head!  
  
KURT:  
  
Americans are so bloodthirsty.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
We call it entertainment.  
  
KURT:  
  
Oh. Vell, zat make okay zen.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Thank children-  
  
RANDOM PERSON:  
  
How are calling children?! We're young adults!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Whatever. Now, why don't we see if we can find some of nasty mutants we all hate.  
  
KIDS:  
  
Hurray!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
This would be good time for us to leave.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Nay! If we leave now, then everyone will know.  
  
JEAN:  
  
I think that Epstein allready knows.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
You went poking around in his head?  
  
JEAN:  
  
No. I guessed it from that sinister look he's giving us.  
  
TODD:  
  
Well, shit.  
  
(EPSTEIN is looking at them with an evil slime on his evil face)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Looks like we're in luck. Because I spy with my evil eye not one, not two, but eight mutants!  
  
KIDS:  
  
Oooh!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
And would you all like to know who they are?  
  
KIDS:  
  
Yes!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
What's the magic word?  
  
KIDS:  
  
Yes please!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
That's better. They are sitting right there!  
  
(EPSTEIN points at the MUTANTS)  
  
(The KIDS turn to look at them)  
  
(Just then, KURT'S image-inducer stops working, making him blue for all to see. General screaming and fainting ensues)  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Can we go now?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Yep. But remember. We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse!  
  
(The MUTANTS make a run for the doors and in to the hall way)  
  
(The KIDS, now known as the angry MOB, who are suddenly armed with torches and pitchforks)  
  
MOB:  
  
Kill! Kill! Kill!  
  
MUTANTS:  
  
Run! Run! Run!  
  
(SCOTT, JEAN, KITTY, LANCE, PIETRO and FRED make it out of the doors)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
My heel!  
  
(ROGUE is hopping away, clutching her foot in a comical fashion, and trips)  
  
MOB:  
  
Kill! Kill!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
No!  
  
(TODD hops in front of ROGUE)  
  
TODD:  
  
Don't make me lick you, yo.  
  
(The MOB raise their weapons in a menacing way)  
  
KURT:  
  
Look out!  
  
(KURT bamfs in front of TODD and ROGUE)  
  
MOB:  
  
Kill! Kill! Kill!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Now would be a nice moment for us to bamf out of here.  
  
TODD:  
  
I don't need to. I'll bust out this angry mobs ass, yo!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Fine. Kurt, to the car.  
  
KURT:  
  
Vat do you zink I am, a taxi?  
  
(KURT bamfs ROGUE out side)  
  
(KURT then bamfs back in and gets TODD out)  
  
TODD:  
  
Why'd you do that fo'?  
  
(silence)  
  
KURT:  
  
I don't know.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Come on!  
  
(They all go in to SCOTT'S car and drive off)  
  
LANCE:  
  
One question, how can we all fit in the same car?  
  
(They look around, very confused)  
  
KITTY:  
  
Maybe it's like a new handy mutant-power.  
  
LANCE:  
  
And where's my jeep?  
  
JEAN:  
  
How should I put this?  
  
(Everyone looks back at the school, to see Lance's jeep beeing burned by the angry MOB)  
  
LANCE:  
  
NOOOOO!!!  
  
Authors Notes: (sob) That is so sad. Poor jeep, we knew thee for such short a while. Yet thine memory shall live on... Next... some stuff happens, or maybe not, who knows? 


	9. Scene 9

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Hah! Take that! Check out my new cool... book... hmm... old book...  
  
Authors Note: Need to update fast... school starting... time runing out... ability to talk normal vanishing...  
  
SCENE 9  
  
The institute (After a thrilling car-chase, the MUTANTS come in)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Here we are! Safe and sound.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
What about the angry mob? And why did my heel hurt so much?  
  
(H.P. theme-music)  
  
FRED:  
  
Whoa! This place is so... what's that word?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
In one piece?  
  
FRED:  
  
Yeah.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Make yourselves comfortable, put up your feet...  
  
*CONSIDER YOURSELF (Oliver!)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Consider yourself at home.  
  
Consider yourself one of the family.  
  
We've taken to you so strong.  
  
It's clear we're going to get along.  
  
Consider yourself well in  
  
Consider yourself part to the furniture.  
  
There isn't a lot to spare.  
  
Who cares?..What ever we've got we share!  
  
If it should chance to be  
  
We should see  
  
Some harder days  
  
Empty larder days  
  
Why grouse?  
  
Always a-chance we'll meet  
  
Somebody  
  
To foot the bill  
  
Then the drinks are on the house!  
  
PEITRO Yeah. Someone like filthy rich professor.  
  
SCOTT Shut up and let me sing.  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Consider yourself our mate.  
  
We do't want to have no fuss,  
  
For after some consideration, we can state...  
  
Consider yourself  
  
One of us!  
  
Consider yourself...  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
At home?  
  
*SCOTT  
  
Consider yourself...  
  
*LANCE*  
  
One of the family  
  
*JEAN*  
  
We've taken to you  
  
*FRED*  
  
So strong  
  
*KURT*  
  
It's clear...ve're...  
  
*ALL*  
  
Going to get along  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Consider yourself...  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
Well in!  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Consider yourself...  
  
*KITTY*  
  
Part of the furniture  
  
*TODD*  
  
There isn't a lot to spare  
  
*ALL*  
  
Who cares?  
  
Whatever we got we share  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity--  
  
There a cup-o'-tea for all.  
  
*ALL*  
  
Only it's wise to be handy with a rolling pin  
  
When Logan comes to call!  
  
TODD What hell does that mean yo?  
  
(Everyone shrugs)  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Consider yourself  
  
Our mate.  
  
We don't want to have no fuss  
  
*ALL*  
  
For after some consideration we can state  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Consider yourself  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Yes!  
  
*ALL*  
  
One of us!  
  
If it should chance to be  
  
We should see  
  
Some harder days  
  
Empty larder days --  
  
Why grouse?  
  
Always a chance we'll meet  
  
Somebody  
  
To food the bill --  
  
Then the drinks are on the house!  
  
Consider yourself our mate.  
  
We don't want to have no fuss  
  
For after some consideration, we can state...  
  
Consider yourself...  
  
One of us!  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Consider yourself  
  
*ALL*  
  
At home.  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
We've taken to you  
  
*ALL*  
  
So strong  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Consider yourself  
  
*ALL*  
  
Well in.  
  
Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity.  
  
There's a cup-o'-tea for all  
  
Only it's wise to be handy with a rolling pin  
  
Wen Logan comes to call  
  
Consider yourself our mate  
  
We don't want to have no fuss  
  
For after some consideration we can state  
  
Consider yourself  
  
One of us...  
  
For after some consideration we can state  
  
Consider yourself...  
  
One of us!  
  
If it should chance to be  
  
We should see some harder days,  
  
Empyt larder days,  
  
Why grouse?  
  
Always a chance we'll meet  
  
Somebody to foot the bill.  
  
Then the drinks are on the house.  
  
Consider yourself at home.  
  
Consider yourself one of the family.  
  
We've taken to you so strong.  
  
It's clear we're going to get along.  
  
Consider yourself well in.  
  
Consider yourself part of the furniture.  
  
There isn't a lot to spare.  
  
Who cares?  
  
Whatever we've got we share.  
  
If it should chance to be  
  
We should see some harder days,  
  
Empty larder days,  
  
Why grouse?  
  
Always a chance we'll meet  
  
Somebody to foot the bill.  
  
Then the drinks are on the house.  
  
Consider yourself our mate.  
  
We don't want to have no fuss  
  
For after some consideration we can state  
  
Consider yourself...  
  
One of us!!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later, at Lance's jeep's memorial  
  
(LANCE is sobing uncontrolably in front of a picture of his jeep)  
  
LANCE:  
  
Why God?! Why?!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Lance, my deepest condolences on your jeep. I can't imagine how I would feel, if my nice and shiny red car would be demolished by an angry mob. But rest assured that its sacrifice was not in vain.  
  
LANCE:  
  
WHY?!  
  
FRED:  
  
This is so sad. You guys won't think I'm beeign girly if I cry?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
(sniff) No.  
  
JEAN:  
  
War does terrible things and the innocent allways suffer. Just look at my nail!  
  
LANCE:  
  
It was such a good jeep...  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I think we should leave Lance alone for a while.  
  
(ALL except LANCE and KITTY leave)  
  
LANCE:  
  
It's so wrong...  
  
KITTY:  
  
I know, but the jeep's in like a better place now and you have to move on. Your jeep wouldn't want you to be like sorry for it.  
  
LANCE:  
  
But still...  
  
KITTY:  
  
And you have me. Together we'll make it through.  
  
*SO LOOK NO MORE FOR LOVE (Notre Dame de Paris)*  
  
*KITTY*  
  
My tender years I bring here to you, like diamonds on a string all for you.  
  
Just promise anything, anything I'll believe it's true  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Your heart say's it is time for us two, your eyes look into mine and I'm through.  
  
Not all the stars that shine will outdo, the diamonds they're in you.  
  
*KITTY*  
  
The man I've come to love, this handsome cavalier.  
  
Won't know how I can love, until I hold him near.  
  
*LANCE*  
  
You say that I don't know, but when you look at me.  
  
Your eyes have such a glow; I know how it will be.  
  
*KITTY*  
  
So look no more for love.  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Love is you.  
  
*KITTY*  
  
Love's all I am made of.  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Oh so true.  
  
*KITTY*  
  
The sun will shine above on our love the day I marry you.  
  
LANCE Marry? Aren't we moving a little too fast?  
  
KITTY It's not like my idea. It's the authors.  
  
AUTHOR It's in the original lyrics, I didn't feel like changing it.  
  
LANCE Lasy asshole.  
  
ALTER-EGO (pulls out an impressive anime-styled sword) SING!  
  
*LANCE*  
  
I'll find you in the night, when all the moonlight streams.  
  
Will cover you in light, and I will touch my dreams.  
  
*KITTY*  
  
And all the words you'll say, will fill my heart with fire.  
  
As night turns into day, I'll do all you desire.  
  
*BOTH*  
  
So look no more for love, love is you.  
  
Loves all I am made of, Oh so true.  
  
The sun will shine above on our love the day I marry you.  
  
The sun will shine above on our love the day I marry you.  
  
The day I marry you.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Sorry jeep, you just met your match.  
  
(LANCE and KITTY start to make out)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
(JEAN is worried)  
  
JEAN:  
  
I'm worried Scott. What if the angry mob comes here?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Fear not, my dear! For I, Scott, am here!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Hey, that rhymed!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
All this weird singing must be getting to me.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Even though that rhymed, I'm still worried.  
  
*ALL I ASK OF YOU (Phantom of the Opera)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
No more talk of darkness  
  
Forget these wide-eyed fears  
  
I am here, nothing can harm you  
  
My words will warm you and calm you  
  
Let me be your freedom  
  
Let daylight dry your tears  
  
I am here, with you and beside you  
  
To guard you and to guide you  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Then say you love me every waking moment  
  
Turn my head with talk of summertime  
  
Say you will need me with you now and always  
  
Promise me that all you say is true  
  
That's all I ask of you  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Let me me be your shelter  
  
Let me be your light  
  
You are safe, no one will find you  
  
Your fears are far behind you  
  
*JEAN*  
  
All I want is freedom  
  
And a world with no more night  
  
And you, always beside me  
  
To hold me and to hide me  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Then say you will share with me one love, one lifetime  
  
Let me lead you from your solitude  
  
Say you will need me, here beside you  
  
Anywhere you go, let me go too  
  
That's all I ask of you  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Say you will share with me one love, one lifetime  
  
Say the word and I will follow you  
  
*BOTH*  
  
Share each day with me, each night, each morning  
  
Say you feel the way I do  
  
That's all I ask of you  
  
Anywhere you go, let me go too  
  
Love me, that's all I ask of you  
  
(Making out ensues)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
(ROGUE is sitting by the window)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
It's a miracle I haven't fallen yet. (sigh) I hate everything, except furry little kittens. But I can't even have a kitten! All I have is a cactus and it's dying too!  
  
*IN MY LIFE (Les Miserábles)*  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
How strange, this feeling that I've gone mad at last  
  
This change, can people really get cofused so fast?  
  
What's the matter with you, Rogue?  
  
Have you been too much on your own?  
  
So many things unclear  
  
So many things unknown.  
  
In my life  
  
There are so many questions and answers  
  
That somehow seem wrong  
  
In my life  
  
There are times when I catch in the silence  
  
The sigh of a faraway song  
  
And it sings  
  
Of a world that I long to see  
  
Out of reach  
  
Just a whisper away  
  
Waiting for me!  
  
Do they know I'm alive?  
  
Do I know if they're real?  
  
Do they see what I saw?  
  
Do they feel what I feel?  
  
In my life  
  
I'm no longer alone  
  
Now the love in my life  
  
Is so near  
  
Find me now, find me here!  
  
(MYSTIQUE is in Washington in a hotelroom, looking all glum)  
  
*MYSTIQUE*  
  
Dear Marie,  
  
You're such a lonely child  
  
How pensive, how sad you seem to me  
  
Believe me, were it within my power  
  
I'd fill each passing hour  
  
How quiet it must be, I can see  
  
With no one for company.  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
There's so little I know  
  
That I'm longing to know  
  
Of the child that I was  
  
In a time long ago  
  
There's so little you say  
  
Of the life you have known  
  
Why you keep to yourself  
  
Why we're always alone  
  
So dark, so dark and deep  
  
The secrets that you keep!  
  
In my life  
  
I have all that I want  
  
Friends who are loving and gentle and good.  
  
But Mystique, dear Mystique,  
  
In your eyes I am just like a child  
  
Who is lost in a wood  
  
*MYSTIQUE*  
  
No more words  
  
No more words, it's a time that is dead  
  
There are words  
  
That are better unheard, better unsaid.  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
In my life  
  
I'm no longer a child and I yearn  
  
For the truth that you know  
  
Of the years... years ago!  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
Well, I'm not going to tell that from all the way here!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Fine! I hate you, you're so unfair!  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
Go to your room!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I am in my room!  
  
MYSTIQUE:  
  
Damn.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
In the hall  
  
(TODD is becoming hopping mad, literally)  
  
TODD:  
  
I can't stand all these sappy feelings, yo! They're making me question my manhood... mutanthood... brotherhood... whatever.  
  
*MY OWN SPACE (The Act)*  
  
*TODD*  
  
I won't need much  
  
Just my own space  
  
A little time  
  
With my own thoughts  
  
And my own space  
  
Some place to run  
  
Some place to hide  
  
Where there is no one else  
  
But me, to meet inside  
  
I love you more  
  
Than I can ever say  
  
I love you more, and more, and more  
  
With every passing day  
  
Allow me light  
  
A breath of air  
  
Leave me the only thing  
  
I own, we cannot share  
  
Just leave me that  
  
Sweet love of mine  
  
Just leave me that  
  
Just my own space  
  
And we'll be fine  
  
I love you more  
  
Than I could ever say  
  
I love you more, and more, and more  
  
With every passing day  
  
Allow me light  
  
A breath of air  
  
Leave me the only thing  
  
I own, we cannot share  
  
Just my own space  
  
Sweet love of mine  
  
Just leave me that  
  
Just my own space  
  
And we'll be fine  
  
(TODD jumps out through an expensive antique glass-window)  
  
(KURT enters)  
  
KURT:  
  
Todd, where are you? Dumme, geruche Kröte... (Stupid, smelly toad...)  
  
(KURT sees the broken window)  
  
KURT:  
  
Wunderbar, wer machte dies? (Wonderful, who did this?) I'm not going to clean zis up! Don't even try to make me!  
  
(PIETRO runs by, KURT'S fur ends up becoming very messy)  
  
PIETRO:  
  
So much sugar! I've broken the sound barrier!  
  
KURT:  
  
Dammit! I'll never get zis sorted out!  
  
Authors Note: Ooh, what shall happen to Todd? What shall happen to Rogue? What shall happen to our happy couples? What shall happen when someone steps on those sharp pieces of glass on the floor? Wait and see... 


	10. Scene 10

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Look mom, I'm on the net! Oh yeah... still don't own this shit...  
  
Authors Note: Oh shi- I mean- darn it! Haven't updated for so long! Oh, why do you pester me so school? Well, the good news is that I've been reading that parody version of Harry Potter and it's making me feel kinda funny... hmm.. maybe that isn't a good thing...  
  
SCENE 10  
  
The Institute The Kitchen (The MUTANTS are having a meeting)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
So it's decided, from now on we'll be called The X-Factored Group of Non- Drinking Aged Pro-Diversity Super Persons, or The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. for short.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Now we finally have a politically correct name. X-Men was so sexist.  
  
JEAN:  
  
I still don't see why we couldn't have been called The X-Persons?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Do we get free mental-care?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We're all going to need it after this, so yes.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Has anyone seen Todd? We have all this Chinese food and he's not here eating it.  
  
KURT:  
  
Don't ask me! I don't care if zat dumpass frog throws himself under a bus!  
  
JEAN:  
  
No-one was asking you Kurt.  
  
KURT:  
  
Yeah, vell, don't even zink about asking, cause I hate zat bastard!  
  
LANCE:  
  
Okay...  
  
ROGUE:  
  
My head! My stomac! My heel! I think I'm getting a visit from aunt Flo.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
But Rogue, you don't have an aunt called Flo.  
  
JEAN:  
  
That's not what she's talking about. (whispers something to SCOTT)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Oh...OH! Meeting's over!  
  
(SCOTT runs away)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Getting angry...  
  
(PIETRO, LANCE, FRED and KURT leave, fast)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Somewhere else in The Institute  
  
(The boys are not feeling well)  
  
KURT:  
  
I zink I'm gonna hurl.  
  
FRED:  
  
Why are girls so icky?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
(is hyperventilating)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
(rocking back and forth) Lal lal laa... I'm not listening...  
  
LANCE:  
  
I really don't see why you're acting like this. We know girls do that, there's nothing weird abou it. Just be happy that we don't get it.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Hey that's right!  
  
KURT:  
  
I forgot about zat fact.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
But what about the stuff we get?  
  
FRED:  
  
Pietro, don't talk about icky stuff! Ew!  
  
LANCE:  
  
It's all natural.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Since when have you been the school-nurse?  
  
LANCE:  
  
After playing doctor with Kitty.  
  
FRED:  
  
Oh no, here it comes.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Not another song!  
  
*MY DEFENSES ARE DOWN (Annie Get Your Gun)*  
  
*LANCE*  
  
I've had my way with so many girls  
  
An' was lots of fun.  
  
My scheme was to know many girls  
  
To keep me safe from one  
  
I find it can be done.  
  
My defenses are down  
  
She's broken my resistance  
  
And I don't know where I am  
  
I went into the fight like a lion  
  
But I came out like a lamb.  
  
My defenses are down  
  
She's got me where she wants me  
  
And I can't escape no how  
  
I could speak to my heart when it wakened  
  
But my heart won't listen now.  
  
Like a toothless, clawless tiger,  
  
Like an organ-grinder's bear,  
  
Like a knight without his armor,  
  
Like Samson without his hair.  
  
My defenses are down  
  
I might as well surrender  
  
For the battle can't be won.  
  
But I must confess that I like it,  
  
So there's nothing to be done.  
  
Yes, I must confess that I like it  
  
Being miserable's gonna be fun  
  
*ALL*  
  
His defenses are down  
  
She's broken my resistance  
  
And he's in an awful jam.  
  
*LANCE*  
  
I went into the fight like a lion  
  
*ALL*  
  
But you came out like a lamb.  
  
*LANCE*  
  
My defenses are down  
  
*ALL*  
  
She's got you where she wants you  
  
And you can't escape no how  
  
*LANCE*  
  
I could speak to my heart when it wakened  
  
*ALL* But my heart won't listen now.  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Like a toothless, clawless tiger,  
  
Like an organ-grinder's bear,  
  
*ALL*  
  
Like a knight without his armor,  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Like Samson without his hair.  
  
My defenses are down  
  
*ALL*  
  
I might as well surrender  
  
For the battle can't be won.  
  
*LANCE*  
  
But I must confess that I like it,  
  
So there's nothing to be done.  
  
*ALL*  
  
Yes, I must confess that I like it  
  
Being miserable's gonna be fun  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
In a random place in Bayville  
  
(TODD is wandering around aimlessly, and of course he's singing)  
  
*ON MY OWN (Les Miserables)*  
  
*TODD*  
  
And now I'm all alone again  
  
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to  
  
Without a home without a friend  
  
Without a face to say hello to  
  
And now the night is near  
  
I can make believe he's here  
  
Sometimes I walk alone at night  
  
When everybody else is sleeping  
  
I think of him and I'm happy  
  
With the company I'm keeping  
  
The city goes to bed  
  
And I can live inside my head  
  
On my own  
  
Pretending he's beside me  
  
All alone  
  
I walk with him till morning  
  
Without him  
  
I feel his arms around me  
  
And when I lose my way I close my eyes  
  
And he has found me  
  
In the rain the pavement shines like silver  
  
All the lights are misty in the river  
  
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight  
  
And all I see is him and me forever and forever  
  
And I know it's only in my mind  
  
That I'm talking to myself and not to him  
  
And although I know that he is blind  
  
Still I say, there's a way for us  
  
I love him  
  
But when the night is over  
  
He is gone  
  
The river's just a river  
  
Without him  
  
The world around me changes  
  
The trees are bare and everywhere  
  
The streets are full of strangers  
  
I love him  
  
But every day I'm learning  
  
All my life  
  
I've only been pretending  
  
Without me  
  
His world would go on turning  
  
A world that's full of happiness  
  
That I have never known  
  
I love him  
  
I love him  
  
I love him  
  
But only on my own.  
  
(Unfortunately, TODD has wandered a little too close to the angry MOB)  
  
MOB:  
  
Look! A mutant! Get him! Kill! Kill! Kill!  
  
TODD:  
  
I'm not a mutant, yo! I'm just a kid, wandering the streets, singing love songs.  
  
MOB:  
  
We're not that dump! Kill! Kill! Hate! Hate! Hate!  
  
(The MOB circles TODD)  
  
MOB-MEMBER:  
  
Any last words?  
  
TODD:  
  
Oh, shit... Next season, I want a real superpower...  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
In The Intitute's room of The Big TV  
  
(KURT is sitting in front of the TV and looking forlorned)  
  
*MOON (Notre Dame de Paris)*  
  
*KURT*  
  
Moon, you who shine your light.  
  
Bright on the Bayville night.  
  
See, how a man suffers all for love.  
  
Clear, solitary star.  
  
So far, vhen ze day returns.  
  
Please hear.  
  
Up zere so high ze cry of ze vorld.  
  
Please hear ze cry, of a man in pain.  
  
For whom all zose million stars.  
  
Don't shine like zose shining eyes.  
  
He loves vith a mortal love.  
  
Moon  
  
Moon, please don't disappear.  
  
Before you have time to hear.  
  
Just hear.  
  
How cries ze heart of ze human beast.  
  
Please hear ze cry, Nightcrawler cries.  
  
He cries for his heart is full.  
  
His voice over mountains flies.  
  
So high, zat I know it flies to you.  
  
Moon.  
  
See, how zis man aspires.  
  
To join, his poor voice vith angels.  
  
Moon, you who shine your light.  
  
For, poets as zey write.  
  
See, how a man suffers all.  
  
For love.  
  
For love.  
  
KURT:  
  
Vait a minute. Vhy am I singing a song to ze Moon when I'm vatching TV?  
  
NEWSPERSON:  
  
In boring local news: An anti-mutant mob has been roaming around, causing great destruction and mayhem.  
  
(TV shows footage of the MOB setting random fires all over the place)  
  
NEWSPERSON:  
  
Of course no-one is blaming these heroic indivituals, but the mutant scums, who's fault it all is anyway. The brave leader of the mindless mass of cows is James Epstein. According to Epstein, he was chosen by his god, Larry, to destroy all mutants. Starting woith a very nasty smelling one, who keeps saying 'yo' all the time.  
  
KURT:  
  
Todd! I must do something stupid and save him!  
  
(KURT bamfs away)  
  
Author's Note: What a cliffhanger! You've never seen the likes of this folks! You'll never guess what happens next! T-O-A-D! T-O-A-D! 


	11. Scene 11

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own any of this, but who is saying that I want to, huh?  
  
Authors Note: Hurrah! We're up to 11 now! Sad thing is, that cause of school and the vigorous activities within, I'll only be able to update on weekends.  
  
SCENE 11  
  
The School  
  
(The now even bigger MOB is gathered in the gym, or another typical mass- happening place like that. The MOB is waving their variour weapons, torches, pitchforks and copies of books on surrealism. There are also many banners in the air, sporting such appropriate phrases as "Murder Muties", "Kill Everything", "Epstein for President" and "We Have the Right to Hate Stuff")  
  
(EPSTEIN steps on the stage)  
  
MOB:  
  
Hurrah! Long live the story's main villian!  
  
(Some crappy organ-music plays)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
My friends! This is truly amost great occation! We are here to do, what mankind has done for generations! We are here to bash minorities!  
  
MOB:  
  
Bash! Bash! Bash!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Yes! But now we face a larger threat than ever before! Mutants!  
  
MOB:  
  
Gasp!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Yes, mutants! These evil freaks go around, causing mayhem and scaring puppies! We must take action! We must make our homes safe again, before those monsters eat all our chips!  
  
*SAFE HAVEN (Whistle Down The Wind)*  
  
*MOB*  
  
This was a safe haven,  
  
Now it's gone, dangers on it's way  
  
Evil can spread out,  
  
Like a stain, and darken all the day  
  
Boundaries won't protect you,  
  
Locks and bolts won't work the way they should  
  
For the sake of all the children,  
  
Track it down, boot it out for good  
  
They say they killed and killed,  
  
No mercy, no remorse, no shame  
  
They say they'll strike again,  
  
No fear and no hope and no end  
  
This was a safe haven,  
  
Bring it back make it that again  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
We shall destroy the mutant menace my friends! I will personaly lead the way by disposing of a freak, who dared to smell in my face!  
  
MOB:  
  
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill everything in sight!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Institute A random hallway  
  
(SCOTT enters)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Kurt! Where are you?! Come here boy! Come on! I'll let you lick my sweaty shirt!  
  
(JEAN enters)  
  
JEAN:  
  
What's going on?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I can't find Kurt.  
  
JEAN:  
  
First Todd and now Kurt. This is getting odd.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Actually it's getting really predictable. I bet they've both been kidnapped.  
  
JEAN:  
  
I bet they're in love with eachother.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
You've been sniffing too much of Logan's catnip. That's just crazy-talk.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The School's Cellar  
  
(TODD is sitting in a cage)  
  
TODD:  
  
Well, doesn't this just suck? Yep, it does. This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before, yo. You got that right. Yeah, great work Todd. You actually managed to figure something out. While, at the same time, you're missing the fact that you'r ehaving a very Gollum-like moment here. Talking to yourself yo... Is this keeps up I'll be worst of than dead, I'll be computer-animated extra. Private space doesn't suit this amphibian well.  
  
*WHEN WILL SOMEONE HEAR? (Martin Guerre)*  
  
*TODD*  
  
Is this the day I prayed for?  
  
When I thought that prayers were heard  
  
When I believed they listened and I trusted every word....  
  
When will someone hear?  
  
All I know is fear  
  
And now I see the loneliness of losing all you trust  
  
Day has turned to night  
  
Stone has turned to dust  
  
And now I need to find the words  
  
When will someone hear?  
  
Love that once was close  
  
Faith that once was clear  
  
Now all I've known and all I've loved is all I have to grieve  
  
All that I've begun  
  
All that I believe is just another broken dream  
  
When will someone hear?  
  
They seem so strong  
  
They seem so sure  
  
They'd take my soul  
  
And still want more!  
  
No one here will listen, it's not me I'm fighting for!  
  
Now, I know, don't decide for me!  
  
Now at last it's clear!  
  
And don't think I'm that little boy they wanted me to be!  
  
They don't know me now, fighting to be free  
  
There's no on here to understand!  
  
When will someone hear?  
  
I will carry on, till the fear has gone  
  
Till the day I find there's someone who will hear...  
  
(KURT bamfs in to the cellar)  
  
*KURT*  
  
Vat do you expect?  
  
I vill always hear you  
  
Who do you reject?  
  
I am always near you  
  
You seem to zink it's easy just to turn vithin yourself  
  
Zere's another light, zere's another way  
  
I vill always hear you  
  
*TODD*  
  
Is this another broken dream?  
  
When will someone hear?  
  
*KURT*  
  
I'm zere to hear you  
  
In shared prayer!  
  
Come now and trust me!  
  
I'll lead you zere  
  
*TODD*  
  
I will carry on  
  
till the fear has gone  
  
till the day I find  
  
There's someone who will hear!  
  
TODD:  
  
What are you doing here?  
  
KURT:  
  
Nothing much... I vas just looking for... uh... an old box of... something.  
  
TODD:  
  
That's nice. Will go away now yo, I'm sort of having an angsty monologue here.  
  
KURT:  
  
But... Vouldn't you maybe like some help?  
  
TODD:  
  
Do I look like I need help?  
  
KURT:  
  
Yeah...  
  
TODD:  
  
Well I don't.  
  
KURT:  
  
Why are beeing such a poohead?  
  
TODD:  
  
Go to Hell fuzzbut.  
  
*MEAN TO ME (Ain't Misbehavin')*  
  
*KURT*  
  
You're mean to me  
  
Why must you be mean to me?  
  
Gee, honey, it seems to me  
  
You love to see me cryin'  
  
I don't know why  
  
I stay home each night  
  
Vhen you say you phone  
  
You don't and I'm left alone.  
  
Sing the blues and sighin'  
  
You treat me coldly each day in ze year  
  
You always scold me  
  
Whenever somebody is near, dear  
  
I must be great fun to be mean to me  
  
You shouldn't, for can't you see  
  
Vat you mean to me  
  
(some blusing ensues)  
  
TODD:  
  
Oh. So you...  
  
KURT:  
  
Yes, as strange at it may seem, I have fuzzy feelings for you.  
  
TODD:  
  
To tell you the truth, I have always had a thing for plush toys.  
  
EPSTEIN'S VOICE:  
  
I'm coming to get you! Hih hih hii!  
  
TODD:  
  
We should kinda leave now.  
  
KURT:  
  
I agree.  
  
(KURT bamfs TODD and himself away)  
  
(EPSTEIN enters)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Hello? Anyone up for some pain? Curses! The smelly one has escaped. Now I need go find another weird kid to kill. Oh, I that means I need go outside again! (notices some blue hair on the floor, looks around in a sinister way)  
  
Author's Note: Didn't get the Kodd moment yet, but it's coming. Am I the only who can't find any good Kodd-fics? No saying that mine is any good though... 


	12. Scene 12

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: I did own something once, but my insane rabbit ate it  
  
Authors Note: Uh... Does anyone even read these things?  
  
SCENE 12  
  
Outside, on a romantic hill  
  
(KURT bamfs in with TODD)  
  
TODD:  
  
What a rush, yo! Can we do it again?  
  
KURT:  
  
Get you caught and have me save you at ze last minute?  
  
TODD:  
  
Not a good idea. I gotta tell you, that Epstein guy is nutts, yo.  
  
KURT:  
  
Ja, vas he really going to kill you?  
  
TODD:  
  
Well, he sure gave that impression. The whole "you're dead meat, smelly"- speech had a clear message to it. Man, I can't believe it.  
  
KURT:  
  
Believe what? That you vere dump enough to valk straight in to an obvious danger like zat?  
  
TODD:  
  
No. I can't believe he called me smelly.  
  
KURT:  
  
Guys like Epstein aren't making ze vorld an easy place to live for smelly or furry mutants.  
  
(TODD and KURT look at the sky in a thoughtful way)  
  
TODD:  
  
"O fear not in a world like this,  
  
And thou shalt know erelong,  
  
Know how sublime a thing it is  
  
To suffer and be strong."  
  
KURT:  
  
Zat vas so beautiful and deep. Vas it Shelley?  
  
TODD:  
  
Longfellow.  
  
KURT:  
  
You've read Longfellow?  
  
TODD:  
  
Yeah... I mean... I saw a copy of Voices of the Night once and nothing else to do.  
  
KURT:  
  
You know what? You're actually beeing romantic and smart.  
  
TODD:  
  
Just don't go telling that to the others, yo. I've got a reputation to live up to.  
  
KURT:  
  
I von't, you repulsive pile of slime...  
  
TODD:  
  
You hairy spider-monkey...  
  
*I HAVE DREAMED (The King and I)*  
  
*TODD*  
  
I have dreamed that your arms are lovely,  
  
I have dreamed what a joy you'll be.  
  
I have dreamed every word you whisper.  
  
When you're close,  
  
Close to me.  
  
How you look in the glow of evening  
  
I have dreamed and enjoyed the view.  
  
In these dreams I've loved you so  
  
That by now I think I know  
  
What it's like to be loved by you,  
  
I will love being loved by you.  
  
*KURT*  
  
Alone and awake I've looked at ze stars,  
  
Ze same zat smile on you;  
  
And time and again I've thought all ze zings Zat you vere zinking too.  
  
I have dreamed zat your arms are lovely,  
  
I have dreamed what a joy you'll be.  
  
I have dreamed every vord you whisper.  
  
Vhen you're close,  
  
Close to me.  
  
How you look in ze glow of evening  
  
I have dreamed and enjoyed ze view.  
  
In zese dreams I've loved you so  
  
Zat by now I zink I know.  
  
*BOTH*  
  
What it's like to be loved by you.  
  
I will love being loved by you.  
  
(KURT and TODD are about to kiss, when KURT starts coughing)  
  
TODD:  
  
What is it?  
  
(Something discusting and furry flies out of KURT'S mouth)  
  
KURT:  
  
Ugh. Hair-ball.  
  
TODD:  
  
Damn, that's wack.  
  
(KURT and TODD kiss, big "aaaws" from the three or so Kodd fans)  
  
EVAN:  
  
Hey! Todd's stealing my lines!  
  
AUTHOR:  
  
Shut up! You're not in this fic. Go live in the sewer or whatever.  
  
EVAN:  
  
I don't wanna! Lucid keeps looking at me with his freaky x-ray vision.  
  
ALTER-EGO:  
  
Get to the fucking sewer allready!  
  
AUTHOR:  
  
I should warn you, Alter-Ego's been watching a lot of Inu-Yasha lately. You don't want to upset him right now.  
  
EVAN:  
  
Him? But you're a girl.  
  
AUTHOR:  
  
Yeah, I'm a girl, but Alter-Ego isn't.  
  
EVAN:  
  
Huh?  
  
ALTER-EGO:  
  
We're not getting in to that discussion! Sewer! NOW!  
  
EVAN:  
  
Eeep!  
  
Author's Note: Heh, sorry again... Boy, this chappy was total fluff. It's almost scary... I honestly don't now what's going to happen next. Anyone got any ideas? Anyone? Please? 


	13. Scene 13

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: It's not mine, I swear!  
  
Authors Note: I finished writing an essay and this is my reward for myself (and in a way for you people out there too).  
  
SCENE 13  
  
The Institute Kitty's bedroom  
  
(KITTY and LANCE are lying on the bed, surrounded by fake medical- equipments)  
  
LANCE:  
  
That was fabulous.  
  
KITTY:  
  
And I like thought the first time was good.  
  
LANCE:  
  
Love is definitely uplifting.  
  
*WE KISS IN A SHADOW (The King and I)*  
  
*LANCE*  
  
We kiss in a shadow,  
  
We hide from the moon,  
  
Our meetings are few,  
  
And over too soon.  
  
We speak in a whisper,  
  
Afraid to be heard;  
  
When people are near,  
  
We speak not a word.  
  
Alone in our secret,  
  
Together we sigh,  
  
For one smiling day to be free  
  
To kiss in the sunlight  
  
And say to the sky:  
  
"Behold and believe what you see!  
  
Behold how my lover loves me!"  
  
*KITTY*  
  
We speak in a whisper,  
  
Afraid to be heard;  
  
When people are near,  
  
*LANCE*  
  
We speak not a word.  
  
Alone in our secret,  
  
Together we sigh,  
  
For one smiling day to be free  
  
*BOTH*  
  
To kiss in the sunlight  
  
And say to the sky:  
  
"Behold and believe what you see!  
  
Behold how my lover loves me!"  
  
*KITTY*  
  
To kiss in the sunlight  
  
And say to the sky:  
  
"Behold and believe what you see!  
  
Behold how my lover loves me!"  
  
(KITTY and LANCE start to make out)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Ahem! You know, Kitty, some of us are trying to sleep.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Like, what are you doing here?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
We share a bedroom, remember?  
  
KITTY:  
  
Oh yeah. But it's not like you never do with Gabriel, while I'm in the room.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
That's totaly different. At least Gabriel doesn't scream like Lance.  
  
LANCE:  
  
I bet if that blowup-doll could scream, then it would.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Fine! I'll go sleep in the toilet, again!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Somewhere else in The Institute  
  
(JEAN and SCOTT are watching Titanic, or some other stereotypical chick- flick)  
  
*LET'S PLAY A LOVE SCENE (Fame)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
We always seem to be  
  
Sister and brotherly  
  
It's such a lovely way to be  
  
And I want to say  
  
What it means to me  
  
How I could ever be the same without you  
  
And something more that I know  
  
Though I never could show  
  
How it kept right on growing  
  
The way I know I really feel about you  
  
The way I know I'll always fell about you  
  
Why can't we, why can't we, why can't we try  
  
*BOTH*  
  
To play a love scene  
  
We don't need the violins to play a love scene  
  
Where we see how love begins  
  
If we could find a way to start  
  
And learn to play the part  
  
A perfect scene from a play unknown  
  
Let's play a love scene, of our own  
  
*JEAN*  
  
And I want to say what it means to me  
  
How I could never be the same without you  
  
And something more that I know  
  
Though I never could show  
  
How it kept right on growing  
  
The way I know I really feel about you  
  
The way I know I'll always feel about you  
  
Why can't we, why can't we, why can't we try  
  
*BOTH*  
  
To play a love scene  
  
We don't need the violins to play a love scene  
  
Where we see how love begins  
  
Find a way to start and play it from the heart  
  
A perfect scene from a play unknown  
  
Let's play a love scene  
  
Love scene of our own  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Hey, I know! Let's use the Danger Room!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Scott, now is not a good time for a work-out.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Any time can be work-out time. Besides, that's not what I mean. We'll have a romantic moment in the Danger Room.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Right. Are feeling well?  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
After a while, in the Danger Room  
  
(SCOTT and JEAN are sitting in a virtual garden, there's fountain, rosebushes, trees, you know, romantic stuff)  
  
JEAN:  
  
I never knew you could actually do something usefull with this place.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I'm glad the Professor programed this place in the system.  
  
JEAN:  
  
What would the Professor do with a program like this?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Who knows? He's a rich, old genius. Anyway this is great.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Yeah, and the virtual lobster isn't making me fat.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Your eyes are so beautiful. They make me want to sing.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Go ahead, it's not like we haven't been spontaneously bursting into song during the last few days.  
  
*THERE IS MORE TO LOVE (Aspect of Love)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
There is more to love,  
  
So much more,  
  
Than simply making love --  
  
That's easy.  
  
Gazing into eyes,  
  
Pretty eyes,  
  
Which could be any eyes --  
  
That's crazy.  
  
Hands are just hands,  
  
A face is just a face ...  
  
They come and go --  
  
They're easy to replace ...  
  
There is more to love,  
  
So much more,  
  
Than moon-struck escapades --  
  
That's nothing.  
  
There is peace of mind,  
  
So much peace,  
  
In quiet company --  
  
That's something.  
  
Everyone but her  
  
Seems wrong for me ...  
  
Every time I feel  
  
There has to be  
  
More ...  
  
If I can hear  
  
The music I heard then,  
  
I'll never let  
  
It fade away again ...  
  
There is more to love,  
  
So much more,  
  
Than simply making love --  
  
That's easy.  
  
Gazing into eyes,  
  
Pretty eyes,  
  
Which could be any eyes --  
  
That's crazy.  
  
Now each time  
  
Love reaches out to me,  
  
I can only feel  
  
There has to be  
  
So much more  
  
To love ... JEAN:  
  
You know what's weird? We're just sitting here, while there's an angry mob somewhere out there that wants us dead. And Kurt and Todd are missing.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Maybe we should something about it. But not now.  
  
JEAN:  
  
The mob can wait.  
  
(R-rated stuff happens)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Still on the romantic hill  
  
(KURT and TODD are lying in eachothers arms)  
  
KURT:  
  
Zis moment is so perfect.  
  
TODD:  
  
I hope it never ends, yo.  
  
(a skunk comes and starts mating with TODD'S leg)  
  
KURT:  
  
Oh God...  
  
TODD:  
  
Can port us back to the Institute now?  
  
KURT:  
  
Not vithout that skunk following.  
  
TODD:  
  
I really wish it stops doing that soon. That has got to be illegal.  
  
KURT:  
  
Oh vell. I still love you, even if a skunk is humping your leg.  
  
Author's Note: Ooh, a homage to Mysterymen, and it kind of makes sense. 


	14. Scene 14

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: I didn't want to, they made me do it!  
  
Authors Note: Okay kids, I'm fighting another writers block, but never fear, I'll beat the story out of somehow. Oh, and by the way, should I write a sequel for this story once it's done?  
  
SCENE 14  
  
The damn hill  
  
TODD:  
  
Finally! I thought that skunk would never go away, yo.  
  
KURT:  
  
Ja, and ze disturbing zing is, zat I vas almost turned on by it.  
  
TODD:  
  
Oh? You want me to finish the job.  
  
KURT:  
  
Bitte.  
  
(TODD and KURT are about to get R-rated, hwen they hear the MOB)  
  
MOB:  
  
Lynch! Lynch! Lynch! Lynch the mutant freaks!  
  
KURT:  
  
Ve have to hide before zey grill our butts!  
  
TODD:  
  
I think they're going past us.  
  
(The MOB moves past the hill and down a near by road)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Onward my friends and destroy the mutants! Burn down their home!  
  
KURT:  
  
Zey're going to ze Institute! Ve have to varn ze others.  
  
TODD:  
  
Does that mean that I'm not getting any tonight?  
  
KURT:  
  
You all ready got some from zat skunk, lets go.  
  
(KURT and TODD bamf away)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Institute The hall  
  
(KURT and TODD bamf in)  
  
TODD:  
  
Guys! Come here quick!  
  
(Everyone else enters, they are all getting dressed)  
  
KURT:  
  
What have you been doing?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Nothing...  
  
JEAN:  
  
And where have you two been?  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Yeah Todd, I want an explanation.  
  
TODD:  
  
Well... I was just... and then... there was this thing... and then Kurt... and I was... then there was a skunk!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I don't think we really wanna hear this.  
  
KURT:  
  
Look, ze reason why ve came is, zat ve saw Epstein and his angry mob headed zis vay!  
  
(Dramatic music)  
  
KITTY:  
  
Like, oh no!  
  
LANCE:  
  
Don't worry Kitty-Kat, I'll protect you.  
  
FRED:  
  
This isn't good.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Damn straight!  
  
TODD:  
  
Actually, I'm not.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Huh?  
  
TODD:  
  
Never mind.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We must do something!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
No shit?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We must prepare ourselves!  
  
KURT:  
  
Okay. Me and Todd'll go and prepare in my room.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I didn't mean it like that. We must prepare by singing a song!  
  
LANCE:  
  
How is that gonna help?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Don't know, but we have to do it anyway.  
  
*BRING ON TOMORROW (Fame)*  
  
*ALL*  
  
We have arrived at a moment in our lives  
  
When the future passes into out hands  
  
We can find out, are we really strong enough  
  
To fulfill what the future demands  
  
We can stand on the edge  
  
And look out into space  
  
And be awed  
  
By the wonders we see  
  
We can all make a pledge  
  
That the whole mutant race  
  
Will become what we want it to be  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
Let it shine  
  
Like the sun coming up on a beautiful day  
  
It's yours and mine  
  
We can make a difference  
  
It's not too late  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
We can't wait  
  
Long, long ago in a world we never made  
  
We were children who were making believe  
  
Closing our eyes  
  
We were travelers in air  
  
To a land we would not want to leave  
  
But the fairy tale land, fades away as we grow  
  
And we all have to say our goodbyes  
  
And we now understand, that this world that we know  
  
Can be ours if we open our eyes  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
Let it shine  
  
Like the sun coming up on a beautiful day  
  
It's yours and mine  
  
We can make a difference  
  
It's not too late  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
We can't wait  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
We can't wait  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
It's not too late  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
We can't wait  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
We can't wait  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
Let it shine  
  
Like the sun coming up on a beautiful day  
  
It's yours and mine  
  
We can make a difference  
  
It's not too late  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
We can't wait  
  
Bring on tomorrow  
  
We can't wait  
  
(Heroic posing ensues)  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later at Jean's room  
  
JEAN:  
  
What if something goes wrong Scott?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Nothing'll go wrong. We're the heroes, we never lose.  
  
JEAN:  
  
But there's something about that Epstein, he creeps me out.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We'll beat him. We allways beat everybody. That's what makes us heroes.  
  
JEAN:  
  
I thought that fighting for the good of all makes us heroes.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
That too. But the main thing is that we allways win. And I shall lead us into victory!  
  
*MARTIN GUERRE/ SCOTT SUMMERS (Martin Guerre)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
All the insults and the names  
  
The kicks, the tricks, the vicious games  
  
To make a young man reach his prime  
  
They say he's weak, they say he's snapped  
  
A man who's scared, a man who's trapped  
  
When all a young man needs is time  
  
Let them try, with the thrill of the pack  
  
Hold your breath till the day he gets back!  
  
Enough, no more, I don't give a damn  
  
Why stay, what for?  
  
I know who I am  
  
A man above the lie that they live  
  
A man who'll love when he's ready to give  
  
But I'll come back one day, after ten years away  
  
And they'll stop and they'll say  
  
Look! Look!  
  
Look, it's Scott Summers  
  
We need him here, no need to fear, never despair  
  
Yes! It's Scott Summers  
  
Back home at last, those from the past better beware  
  
Strides through the town  
  
Laughs, waves them away  
  
They all think he must be the same  
  
But by heaven they're sure to see there's more to Scott Summers  
  
Than a name  
  
(A/N: There is a part here in the original lyrics, but I wasn't able to revise it to suit the fic, so I cut it out, sorry about that. Now, on with the singing!)  
  
Look! It's Scott Summers  
  
Standing so brave, back from the grave, who else would dare  
  
Yes! It's Scott Summers  
  
Back from afar, not like before  
  
Of this I swear  
  
He's seen it all, he's travelled the land  
  
And look! Look what he became  
  
And by heaven they're sure to see there's more to Scott Summers  
  
Just look, look at what he became  
  
By heaven they're sure to see there's more to Scott Summers  
  
Than a name!  
  
JEAN:  
  
At least you haven't got low self-esteem.  
  
*SOMEWHERE (West Side Story)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
There's a place for us,  
  
Somewhere a place for us.  
  
Peace and quiet and open air  
  
Wait for us  
  
Somewhere.  
  
*JEAN*  
  
There's a time for us,  
  
Some day a time for us.  
  
Time together and time to spare,  
  
Time to look, time to care  
  
Some day!  
  
Somewhere  
  
We'll find a new way of living,  
  
Will find there's a way of forgiving  
  
Somewhere...  
  
*BOTH*  
  
There's a place for us,  
  
A time and place for us.  
  
Hold my hand and we're halfway there  
  
Hold my hand and I'll take you there  
  
Somehow...  
  
Some day...  
  
Somewhere...  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later still  
  
(The couples share romantic moments. Is anyone getting sick of all the romance?)  
  
*TRY NOT TO BE AFRAID (Whistle Down The Wind)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Try not to be afraid, so many things can happen  
  
Nothings ever quite as bad as it might appear  
  
*LANCE*  
  
I'll give you all I got, You know I can protect you  
  
And try and stop you shedding even one more single tear  
  
*SCOTT AND JEAN*  
  
Shelter from the storms  
  
*LANCE AND KITTY*  
  
Refuge from the world outside  
  
*SCOTT AND JEAN*  
  
Safety from the dangers  
  
*LANCE AND KITTY*  
  
Escape from all the disappointments that time has passed  
  
*KURT*  
  
Healing of ze vounds, ze banishing of nightmares  
  
An end to endless tortured nights untroubled sleep at last  
  
*TODD*  
  
This is the vow I've made, I'll see it all come true now  
  
And all you have to do for me, Try not to be afraid  
  
*KURT AND TODD*  
  
I swear I'll be with you, this promise that I've made you  
  
*JEAN*  
  
You will always be with me  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Think of every thing you've got, try not to be afraid  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Try not to be afraid  
  
*ALL*  
  
Try not to be afraid  
  
(ROGUE runs around madly)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
My heel! He's coming! Oh my God! He's coming!  
  
Author's Note: Yep, Epstein is coming. That means there's gonna be fighting next! We all love fighting don't we? I just had to put "Somewhere" in this fic, I love that song, it allways makes me cry. 


	15. Scene 15

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Oh, why do I bother?  
  
Authors Note: Oh poop! I haven't updated for so long! I'm so sorry, I'm sure there was some kind of good reason for it, I just don't know what.  
  
I'm one sad little writer, no one reviewed my last chapter. Oh well. I got all inspired, when my class was systematically destroing the local golf course's laws during gym.  
  
SCENE 15  
  
The Institute, where else?  
  
(Everyone is gathered in the Hall)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
All right men!  
  
KITTY:  
  
Ahem!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I mean persons! We must defend ourselves without hurting the mob.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Why?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We don't want to get sued by The Angry Mob Protection Organisation.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Great. The mob has a protection organisation and what do we have?  
  
KURT:  
  
Cool costumes!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Anyway, I think we should build a barricade!  
  
(heroic music)  
  
JEAN:  
  
Scott, honey, what good is that going to do?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I don't know, but we have do it anyway. It's in the script.  
  
TODD:  
  
What? Since when have we had a script?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Come on guys, you know about the script.  
  
EVERYONE ELSE:  
  
No.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Okay. Anyway, we have to build that barricade. If only because the Author wants to put in the next song for some reason.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Right! Vive la revo- I mean- evolution!  
  
ALL:  
  
Vive la evolution!  
  
*DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE/MUTANTS SING? (Les Miserables)*  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Do you hear the mutants sing?  
  
Singing a song of angry men?  
  
It is the music of the mutants  
  
Who will not be called freaks again!  
  
When the beating of your heart  
  
Echos the beating of the drums  
  
There is a life about to start  
  
When tomorrow comes!  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Will you join in our crusade?  
  
Who will be strong and stand with me?  
  
Somewhere beyond the barricade  
  
Is there a world you long to see?  
  
*JEAN*  
  
Then join in the fight  
  
That will give you the right to be free!!  
  
*ALL*  
  
Do you hear the mutants sing?  
  
Singing a song of angry men?  
  
It is the music of the mutants  
  
Who will not be called freaks again!  
  
When the beating of your heart  
  
Echos the beating of the drums  
  
There is a life about to start  
  
When tomorrow comes!  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
Will you give all you can give  
  
So that our banner may advance  
  
Some will fall and some will live  
  
Will you stand up and take your chance?  
  
The blood of the martyrs  
  
Will water the lawns of Bayville!  
  
*ALL*  
  
Do you hear the mutants sing?  
  
Singing a song of angry men?  
  
It is the music of the mutants  
  
Who will not be called freaks again!  
  
When the beating of your heart  
  
Echos the beating of the drums  
  
There is a life about to start  
  
When tomorrow comes!  
  
(The building of a massive barricade infront of the Institute ensues)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Put chairs to the left nad tables to the right.  
  
FRED:  
  
You want the mob to break this fine set of hand-carved, oak Biedermaier diningroom furniture?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
As long as it's nothing important.  
  
FRED:  
  
But the price of items like these are very high at Christies.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Uh... since when have you been an expert in fine furniture?  
  
FRED:  
  
I watch a lot of Antiques Road-Show.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Just put everything that's useless to the barricade.  
  
KURT:  
  
Okay! Bye bye schoolbooks!  
  
TODD:  
  
I love you.  
  
(KURT and TODD start making out)  
  
KITTY:  
  
I'm like liberal and all, but could you not like do that right now?  
  
KURT:  
  
Don't make us call Amnesty.  
  
JEAN:  
  
Well, we worked hard for five whole minutes, the barricade is done.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Who put my guitar in it?  
  
KITTY:  
  
Scott told us to put useless things in the barricade.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Just because no-one has ever seen me use my guitar doesn't mean it's useless.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Can you two finish that discussion later? We have company.  
  
(EPSTEIN and the MOB enter)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Shit, here goes my heel again.  
  
(ROGUE falls down the barricade, holding her aching heel)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
You freaks better give up!  
  
MOB:  
  
Give up! Give up!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
No we won't you... big meanie!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Calling me names now are you?  
  
TODD:  
  
Your mama!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
No your mama!  
  
MOB:  
  
Your mama! Your mama!  
  
TODD:  
  
That's it, this guy is going down yo!  
  
(General battleroars on all sides ensues)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Enough manly grunting! Attack!  
  
MOB:  
  
Attack! Attack! Attack! Attack the big wall!  
  
(The MOB runs against the barricade mindlessly)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
You idiots! Use your weapons!  
  
(The MOB, those that still conscious, pull out their torches and pitchforks)  
  
MOB:  
  
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill everything that's weird!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Oh what shall we do?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I don't know Jean, I don't know.  
  
LANCE:  
  
There's only one thing to do! Sing!  
  
*CAST AWAY (Notre Dame de Paris)*  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Cast away, souls at bay.  
  
It's our dreams, they betray.  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Now they say we can't stay.  
  
Prayers we pray lost today.  
  
*TODD*  
  
Put the shade of your skin.  
  
With the shade of my skin.  
  
*FRED*  
  
Put the song that you sing.  
  
With the dance that I bring.  
  
*ALL*  
  
Refugees, downward bound.  
  
Fill the streets of your town.  
  
Can't we make a world, to which everyone belongs?  
  
Can't we make a world, without fears without frontiers?  
  
*JEAN*  
  
We're called names we are blamed.  
  
We're kept down we are shamed.  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
In the night torture comes.  
  
Try to speak without tongues.  
  
*SCOTT*  
  
My homeland I hold here  
  
In my heart ever near.  
  
*KURT*  
  
In your land I find tears.  
  
Vords that hurt zings to fear.  
  
*KITTY*  
  
In my heart summer dies.  
  
From your grey winter skies.  
  
*ALL*  
  
Can't we make a world, to which everyone belongs?  
  
Can't we make a world, without fears without frontiers?  
  
Cast away, souls at bay.  
  
It's our dreams, they betray.  
  
Now they say we can't stay.  
  
Prayers we pray lost today.  
  
Cast away.  
  
Cast away.  
  
(The rest of the MOB faints from all the mushy singing)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We have won!  
  
ALL:  
  
Hurray!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Have forgotten about me?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Oh yeah. I guess we'll have to fight you now.  
  
(heroic music)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Wave of pain!  
  
(Our heros The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. all fall down the barricade)  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Hey! That hurt you bastard!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
That was the point. Wave of pain!  
  
KITTY:  
  
Ow. I like hurt so much!  
  
LANCE:  
  
Kitty! Are you all right?  
  
*A LITTLE FALL OF RAIN (Les Miserables)*  
  
*KITTY*  
  
Don't you fret, my dear Lance  
  
I don't feel any pain  
  
A little fall of rain  
  
Can hardly hurt me now  
  
You're here, that's all I need to know  
  
And you will keep me safe  
  
And you will keep me close  
  
And rain will make the flowers grow.  
  
*LANCE*  
  
But you will live, Kitty - dear God above...  
  
If I could close your wounds with words of love...  
  
*KITTY*  
  
Just hold me now, and let it be.  
  
Shelter me, comfort me...  
  
*LANCE*  
  
You would live  
  
A hundred years  
  
If I could show you how  
  
I won't desert you now...  
  
*KITTY*  
  
The rain can't hurt me now  
  
This rain will wash away what's past  
  
And you will keep me safe  
  
And you will keep me close  
  
I'll sleep in your embrace at last  
  
The rain that brings you here  
  
Is Heaven-blessed!  
  
The skies begin to clear  
  
And I'm at rest  
  
A breath away from where you are  
  
I've come home from so far  
  
*KITTY/ LANCE*  
  
So don't you fret, my dear Lance/ Hush-a-bye, dear Kitty-Kat  
  
I don't feel any pain/ You won't feel any pain  
  
A little fall of rain/ A little fall of rain  
  
Can hardly hurt me now/ Can hardly hurt you now  
  
I'm here/ That's all I need to know  
  
And you will keep me safe/ I will stay with you  
  
And you will keep me close/ Till you are sleeping  
  
And rain/ And rain  
  
Will make the flowers.../ Will make the flowers... (KITTY faints)  
  
*LANCE* Grow.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Hah hah haa!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
How dare you! We shall beat you!  
  
LANCE:  
  
You made my pussy faint! You're gonna pay! Earth tremor!  
  
(The ground shakes, everyone, but EPSTEIN, trips over themselves)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
You fools! Wave of pain!  
  
LANCE:  
  
Ouch! (holds his head) This is worse then the first time I got drunk and made out with Pietro!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Speeding fury!  
  
(PIERTO tries to knock out EPSTEIN)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Wave of pain!  
  
(PIETRO falls down)  
  
PIERTO:  
  
My beautifull heads in such pain! I want my daddy!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Hit of brilliance!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Arrows of pain!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Aaah, the pain!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Jean!  
  
(JEAN faints)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Blasting glance of destruction!  
  
(SCOTT tries to hit EPSTEIN, but misses, badly)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Pathetic. Arrows of pain!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Everyone! Behind the barricade!  
  
Author's Note: What? You thought that I would make the battlescene in to just chapter? No way! So, r&r and let me know if you want that sequel or not. 


	16. Scene 16

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Lal lal laa, no-one reads this!  
  
Authors Note: As a special treat I updated a little earlier than I thought I would. I was just feeling so energetic today, had to do something.  
  
SCENE 16  
  
The EPIC BATTLE continues!  
  
(EPSTEIN is laughing like a loon, while the members of The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. are hiding behind the barricade)  
  
KURT:  
  
Zis is hopeless!  
  
LANCE:  
  
Come on Kitty, please wake up and rape my mouth.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We mustn't give up hope! Isn't that right Jean?  
  
JEAN:  
  
(Is unconscious)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Oh Jean! Why God ?!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
She's not dead you idiot! But I soon will be if my heel doesn't stop hurting! Now I'll never be a pretty ballerina!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
We have to do something! That guy's laughter is really starting to annoy me!  
  
*DANCING TOWARDS DISASTER (The Hunting of the Snark)*  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
Forget the risks we are taking  
  
Let it rain, let it hail, let it snow;  
  
We could be wrong all along  
  
But at least if we keep on we soon will know,  
  
Although:  
  
We could be dancing towards disaster  
  
With every movement we make,  
  
We could be dancing to disaster,  
  
We could fall with every step we take.  
  
We could be dancing towards disaster,  
  
With every thrill that we share,  
  
We could be dancing to disaster  
  
But I get the feeling we don't care.  
  
There is no time left for wasting  
  
Looking back round the corners we've turned.  
  
Don't count the cost or we're lost,  
  
For the bridges we have crossed have all been burned,  
  
And we've learned:  
  
We could be dancing towards disaster  
  
With every movement we make,  
  
We could be dancing to disaster,  
  
We could fall with every step we take.  
  
We could be dancing towards disaster,  
  
With every thrill that we share,  
  
We could be dancing to disaster  
  
But I get the feeling we don't care.  
  
*ALL*  
  
Dancing, dancing,  
  
For all we know we're dancing to disaster.  
  
Dancing, dancing  
  
Dancing to disaster.  
  
Dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing,  
  
Dancing to disaster.  
  
We could be dancing towards disaster  
  
With every movement we make,  
  
We could be dancing to disaster,  
  
We could fall with every step we take.  
  
We could be dancing towards disaster,  
  
With every thrill that we share,  
  
We could be dancing to disaster  
  
But I get the feeling we don't care.  
  
We don't care.  
  
We don't care.  
  
FRED:  
  
Lets attack!  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. minus KITTY and JEAN, leap to the top of the barricade)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
You shall fall, oh ye villanous scum!  
  
(SCOTT loses his ballance and topples of the barricade)  
  
KURT:  
  
Zere goes our fearless leader.  
  
(The rest of them jump down and take heroic poses)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Oh, ready for another round are we?  
  
TODD:  
  
I'll show you for name calling my mama, yo. Amphibian kick!  
  
(TODD attempts to kick EPSTEIN, but he dodges the kick and TODD goes flying staight into a tree)  
  
TODD:  
  
Oooh, look at pretty birdies...  
  
(TODD faints)  
  
KURT:  
  
You bastard! Look vhat you did to my ex-rival-turned-boyfriend!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
What can I say? I have a knack for these things.  
  
KURT:  
  
Du Sohn eines Weibchens (You son of a bitch)! Fuzzy elven bamf!  
  
(KURT bamf behind EPSTEIN and trips him with his tail)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Ew, creepy tail! I mean... Arrows of pain!  
  
KURT:  
  
Oh my God! It feels like every strand of my fur is beeing picked of!  
  
(KURT faints)  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Why don't we just throw Fred on Epstein so he can crush him with his enormous ass.  
  
FRED:  
  
I'm not fat, goddamnit!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We are a team! We must attack as one!  
  
(They do just that)  
  
LANCE:  
  
Earth tremor!  
  
PIETRO:  
  
Speeding fury!  
  
FRED:  
  
Big boned punch!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Blasting glance of destruction!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Ultimate wave of pain!  
  
(LANCE, PIETRO, FRED and SCOTT all faint)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
And then, there was one.  
  
(Dramatic music)  
  
Author's Note: That was kinda on the short side, but I wanted to cut it at the right moment. Next we will hear a lot of boring talk about THE PAST. OOOH, such excitement! Hold on to your internal organs! 


	17. Scene 17

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: Runing out of ideas! And who cares?  
  
Authors Note: I'm on a roll here people! Look at how fast I'm uptading! Just a way for me to apologize for making you wait so long for scene 15.  
  
SCENE 17  
  
ROGUE and EPSTEIN are the only ones still conscious  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I really dislike you.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
I'm not so fond of you either.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Why?  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Well, firts off, you people hang around with my brother.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Brother?  
  
(Dramatic music)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Haven't you figured it out yet? I am Xaviers brother!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Uh-huh. Guess I should be all surprised again, but I just can't be bothered.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Fine! If that didn't surprise you, then this should! I killed your parents!  
  
(Dramatic music)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Gasp of astonishment! You're Purgatory!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Yes. I recognized you because of that odd hairdo. Your mother had the same one when I killed her.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I'm begining to really, really dislike you. You gave me a freaking scar! Do you have any idea how many people make fun of it?! It's all "oh look, There's that girl with the p-shaped scar". You ruined my chances of a normal social life!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Hah hah haa! And now I shall end your life and then your friend's. Arrows of pain!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Power absorbing!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
You have learned much from my brother. But you cannot defeat me, none can! Ultimate wave of pain!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Power absorbing! Yes! I have sucked in so much power! Hyper evolution!  
  
(A very Digimon-like transformation sequence ensues)  
  
(ROGUE ends up wearing a skimpy costume)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
So embarrassing... Anyway... The power! The immense power!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
This can't be good... Oh well, can't go down without a fight. Cosmic arrows of pain!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Shield of hostility!  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
By the power of villains, horde of evil!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Grand touch of pain!  
  
(ROGUE graps a hold of EPSTEIN, and does her thing)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
So are you going to kill me? Is that what you want?!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Maybe, and maybe not.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
You're a crafty one...  
  
*FLORENCE QUITS/ EPSTEIN QUITS (Chess)*  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
So you got what you want  
  
What a nasty ambition!  
  
Set me up, pull me down  
  
Then exploit my condition  
  
I should have guessed, mutant  
  
That if pressed, mutant  
  
You're on nobody's side but your own  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
And you're behaving  
  
Like a mere villain  
  
It's so clear, villain --  
  
It's your fault!  
  
Once they start getting old and getting worried  
  
They let fly, take it out  
  
On the one who oppose them --  
  
That's you I'm talking about  
  
*BOTH*  
  
Who'd ever think it?  
  
Such a squalid little ending  
  
Watching you descending  
  
Just as far as you can go  
  
I'm learning things I didn't want to know  
  
Who'd ever guess it?  
  
This would be the situation --  
  
One more observation --  
  
How'd we ever get this far  
  
Before you showed me what you really are?  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
You'll be lost without me  
  
To abuse like you're used to  
  
Go away! Just get out! Be someone else's parasite!  
  
I'm not the kind to be vindictive  
  
Holding some childish grudge  
  
How could I be? I'm in the spotlight  
  
Half of the world my judge  
  
*EPSTEIN*  
  
All I demand is those I hate so  
  
Those I give all my skills  
  
All my time and strain  
  
Those that I make feel pain  
  
Give me the same kind of passion in return  
  
But you fools never learn!  
  
(ROGUE lets go of EPSTEIN)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I don't want to kill you. What good would it ultimately do? I've learned something today, violence should be kept where it belongs, in television, movies and other forms of entertainment.  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
You fool! I will then kill you!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
As if. Unlimited kick!  
  
(ROGUE kicks EPSTEIN really hard and he flies far away to the horizon)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Whyyyyyy?!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
You forgot that this is a tv-show! Hah! Dumbass.  
  
(ROGUE looks around at all the unconscious people)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I better to get out of this costume before they wake up.  
  
(ROGUE sneaks away)  
  
Author's Note: Hmm... What can I say? Well, I can tell you that next comes the finale of this fic, and an extra-surprise! What will it be? Oh, and plans are allready beeing made for the sequel! Hurray for the voices in my head! 


	18. Scene 18 and extra

It's so hard to be a teen-mutant-superhero By: Umbravulpes  
  
Disclaimer: I just don't care anymore.  
  
Authors Note: *snif* This is it for now. I'm so sad... But we'll have the sequel, so I won't be sad for long... Though I have no idea on how long it's going to take to do the fist chapter of it. Oh well...  
  
SCENE 18+The deleted scenes!  
  
(The unconscious members of The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. are waking up)  
  
ROGUE:  
  
About damn time!  
  
(The X.F.G.O.N.D.A.P.D.S.P. looks at all the destruction done by the battle between ROGUE and EPSTEIN)  
  
LANCE:  
  
Whoa, what happened?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Nothing much.  
  
KURT:  
  
Nothing much? Where ze hell is ze front lawn?!  
  
JEAN:  
  
More to the point, where's Epstein?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Haflway over the Atlantic?  
  
FRED:  
  
So we won?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I won.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Great job team!  
  
JEAN:  
  
Scott...  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Oh, great job Rogue!  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Whatever, at least I got revenge on him for giving me that scar... oh yeah and for killing my parents.  
  
KITTY:  
  
Epstein like killed your parents?  
  
ROGUE:  
  
Yeah, and he's Xavier's brother.  
  
SCOTT:  
  
What?!  
  
KURT:  
  
Vell, it makes perfect sense.  
  
TODD:  
  
Yep. So, what do we do now?  
  
SCOTT:  
  
We should probably take down the barricade.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
What about the mob?  
  
(Just then, the MOB begins to awake)  
  
(KURT'S image-inducer starts to work again)  
  
KURT:  
  
Vhat a strange coincidence.  
  
RANDOM MOB MEMBER:  
  
What happened?  
  
ANOTHER MOB MEMBER:  
  
Where are we?  
  
JEAN:  
  
Looks like they've lost their memories about what happened here.  
  
LANCE:  
  
How lucky can we get?!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
(to the MOB) Okay people, the party is over, time to go home!  
  
RANDOM MOB MEMBER:  
  
Party?  
  
KITTY:  
  
Yeah. Don't you guys like remember?  
  
MOB:  
  
No.  
  
PIETRO:  
  
It was really big party.  
  
KURT:  
  
Ja, and ve zink zat someone put roofies in ze drinks.  
  
MOB:  
  
Oh, allright.  
  
(The MOB leaves)  
  
SCOTT:  
  
Well, we did it guys. The X-Factored Group of Non-Drinking Aged Pro- Diversity Super Persons' first victory.  
  
ALL:  
  
Hurray for us!  
  
*I AM WHAT I AM (La Cage aux Folles)*  
  
*SCOTT* I am what I am  
  
I am my own special creation.  
  
*JEAN*  
  
So come take a look,  
  
Give me the hook or the ovation.  
  
*KITTY*  
  
It's my world that I want to take a little pride in,  
  
My world, and it's not a place I have to hide in.  
  
*LANCE*  
  
Life's not worth a damn,  
  
'Til you can say, "Hey world, I am what I am."  
  
*KURT*  
  
I am what I am,  
  
I don't vant praise, I don't vant pity.  
  
*TODD*  
  
I bang my own drum,  
  
Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty.  
  
*PIETRO*  
  
And so what, if I love each feather and each spangle,  
  
Why not try to see things from a diff'rent angle?  
  
*FRED*  
  
Your life is a sham 'til you can shout out loud  
  
I am what I am!  
  
*ROGUE*  
  
I am what I am  
  
And what I am needs no excuses. I deal my own deck  
  
Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces.  
  
*ALL*  
  
There's one life, and there's no return and no deposit;  
  
One life, so it's time to open up your closet.  
  
Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say,  
  
"Hey world, I am what I am!"  
  
FRED:  
  
Hm... Does anyone remember that it was just Halloween?  
  
KITTY:  
  
That means...  
  
TODD:  
  
Christmass is coming!  
  
ALL:  
  
Hurray!  
  
SCOTT:  
  
I have a feeling that this will be the best Christmass ever.  
  
ROGUE:  
  
I love you guys.  
  
(General huging and making out ensues)  
  
The End  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
And now...  
  
Some deleted scenes! Wohoo!  
  
1. What happened at the presidents picnic?  
  
(The PRESIDENT and MRS. PRESIDENT are having a nice picnic, while surrounded by a legion of bodyguards)  
  
PRESIDENT:  
  
This is nice. It's good to get away from work once in a while.  
  
MRS. PRESIDENT:  
  
Yeah. You should take brake from all that silly work of your's more often.  
  
(Suddenly XAVIER, STORM, BEAST, WOLVERINE, MAGNETO and MYSTIQUE brust in)  
  
MAGNETO:  
  
There he is!  
  
XAVIER:  
  
Get him!  
  
(They run/fly/wheel towards the PRESIDENT)  
  
(The BODYGUARDS jump on top of the PRESIDENT and MRS. PRESIDENT)  
  
PRESIDENT:  
  
Ow...  
  
MRS. PRESIDENT:  
  
My cake...  
  
BEAST:  
  
Damn, I guess we won't be getting his autograph.  
  
2. What did Evan do?  
  
Somewhere in Morlock-center  
  
(LUCID runs around in total panic)  
  
LUCID:  
  
Help!  
  
(EVAN appears)  
  
EVAN:  
  
Come here Lucid!  
  
LUCID:  
  
No, please! Help!  
  
EVAN:  
  
Oh come on. I have a nice game in mind!  
  
LUCID:  
  
I swear, I'll never look at you again!  
  
(CALLISTO and CALIBAN enter)  
  
(LUCID and EVAN run past them)  
  
CALLISTO:  
  
What the hell is going on?  
  
EVAN'S VOICE:  
  
Lookie here!  
  
LUCID'S VOICE:  
  
No! Put that away! What are you doing! Aaah! Don't touch that!  
  
CALIBAN:  
  
I don't want to know.  
  
3. Where's Wanda?  
  
WANDA:  
  
Thanks for taking the time to discuss my feelings Snot.  
  
SNOT ( the living piece of bugger from Earthworm Jim):  
  
(Makes squirty noices)?  
  
WANDA:  
  
How do I feel? Perhaps this poem I have written will help. Ahem. My life is whirling fortex of nothingness. Everything hurts. I want to hurt everything. Doom, doom, doom! I need pills.  
  
SNOT:  
  
(More squirty noices).  
  
WANDA:  
  
You're right. What I need is a good hypnotherapist. You know, for piece of bugger, you've got great insight on the human-psyche.  
  
4. What happened to Epstein?  
  
Somewhere in France  
  
(EPSTEIN falls from the sky)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
Aaargh... Wait until I get back Rogue. I'll have revenge on all of you! Ah hah hah haa!  
  
(EPSTEIN is stampeded by some cows)  
  
EPSTEIN:  
  
I hate France! Now I smell like manure.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That was it folks. Wasn't that a lovely story? Tune in again when we return to our heros in: Not again!- The musical sequel 


End file.
